sometimes they make me feel like I don't understand then and like they really don't want me to get them, and I feel so guilty for not being able to ❤️

I really didn't realise how fucked past relationships left me. "Oh, i AM traumatized". Just when I had just to reached something alike to stability

It feels as if I'm 13 again

Would they expect it? How would they react? Who would find out first?
God, I feel like a terrible person

I gotta wake up in less than an hour sigh

The relief of knowing I will feel it again, proff that I'm still there and that I can count on it, always. As much as it tires me to fight against the winds. It's going through me and I've endured it before, it's proff I'm still as strong and as alive.
I stay on the shore.

The doom of being put under the strength of the whole universe, of just being there while it happens; it doesn't happen for me, it won't stop for me, and I must endure.