I didn’t pay attention when they taught the metric system. I either just ordered a small bag of Swedish candy, or a truck will deliver a pallet any time now.

Strange. I got so excited learning that you can buy unclaimed mail, but I’m not the least bit excited about the pile of mail growing on my kitchen counter.

Who you ask is Jeff Prosperie? Dazzle your friends at Bar Trivia--he's the ceremonial drummer who Defense Secy nominee Pete Hegseth hit in the arm WITH AN AXE (yup, you read that correctly) while Hegseth was participating in an axe throwing competition on Fox & Friends.

Right now I’m sitting with a jar of Jif peanut butter and a spoon. Not sure I’m ready yet to expand my trusted circle of friends.