Ebeeto
@ebeeto.mastodon.social.ap.brid.gy
Internet man who did a funny in '07 and has been on a steady decline since then. Might come across as grumpy or cynical or stark raving mad in posts but it's […]
[bridged from https://mastodon.social/@Ebeeto on the fediverse by https://fed.brid.gy/ ]
[bridged from https://mastodon.social/@Ebeeto on the fediverse by https://fed.brid.gy/ ]
When you buy one of my snoring stones (they're stones that snore), remember to download and read the instruction manual. We don't want another implosion kerfuffle like what happened to Algernon Jenkins and his awful son.
October 4, 2025 at 3:10 PM
When you buy one of my snoring stones (they're stones that snore), remember to download and read the instruction manual. We don't want another implosion kerfuffle like what happened to Algernon Jenkins and his awful son.
If Lille Skutt has a child named Minihopp (basically a synonym), then a son of Skalman would be Höljgubbe.
October 4, 2025 at 3:09 PM
If Lille Skutt has a child named Minihopp (basically a synonym), then a son of Skalman would be Höljgubbe.
Reposted by Ebeeto
Christ is king, huh? More like Christ is cringe lol. Get checkmated up the shaft chute, theists (theist means person with delusions)
July 31, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Christ is king, huh? More like Christ is cringe lol. Get checkmated up the shaft chute, theists (theist means person with delusions)
My sister said Ballerina is the Star Trek Picard of the John Wick guniverse.
September 1, 2025 at 1:29 PM
My sister said Ballerina is the Star Trek Picard of the John Wick guniverse.
Reposted by Ebeeto
"Don't worry. That's just a rattlesnake. I'll put it in my boot as usual."
"No, wait! That's not a rattlesnake! That's a battlesnake!"
🐍🎤: Your boot is leathery and smells like doody/
Just like when I was up yo mama dirty booty
"No, wait! That's not a rattlesnake! That's a battlesnake!"
🐍🎤: Your boot is leathery and smells like doody/
Just like when I was up yo mama dirty booty
November 6, 2024 at 9:28 PM
"Don't worry. That's just a rattlesnake. I'll put it in my boot as usual."
"No, wait! That's not a rattlesnake! That's a battlesnake!"
🐍🎤: Your boot is leathery and smells like doody/
Just like when I was up yo mama dirty booty
"No, wait! That's not a rattlesnake! That's a battlesnake!"
🐍🎤: Your boot is leathery and smells like doody/
Just like when I was up yo mama dirty booty
All my opinions are vetted by an independent opinion organization before being published. I can't share them yet, since my latest opinions are still under review.
July 31, 2025 at 2:10 AM
All my opinions are vetted by an independent opinion organization before being published. I can't share them yet, since my latest opinions are still under review.
Christ is king, huh? More like Christ is cringe lol. Get checkmated up the shaft chute, theists (theist means person with delusions)
July 31, 2025 at 1:49 AM
Christ is king, huh? More like Christ is cringe lol. Get checkmated up the shaft chute, theists (theist means person with delusions)
I am enlightened, much like a fart passing through an open flame.
July 31, 2025 at 1:05 AM
I am enlightened, much like a fart passing through an open flame.
Bamse is the strongest bear in the world from eating the thunder honey. Shellman is his drowsy autistic friend. Little Hop is the traumatized rabbit. I am a dweeb.
July 17, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Bamse is the strongest bear in the world from eating the thunder honey. Shellman is his drowsy autistic friend. Little Hop is the traumatized rabbit. I am a dweeb.
I shid. I fard. I shard.
July 16, 2025 at 12:12 AM
I shid. I fard. I shard.
American soda is cringe.
April 13, 2025 at 1:14 PM
American soda is cringe.
I just busted some cartoon-ass farts.
February 28, 2025 at 2:34 AM
I just busted some cartoon-ass farts.
I haven't posted much here lately. Maybe because the general vibe of the world is quite synced up with how my raving mad ramblings usually sound on here. I feel like I don't really need to explicitly state my opinion on things all that often.
January 24, 2025 at 3:27 PM
I haven't posted much here lately. Maybe because the general vibe of the world is quite synced up with how my raving mad ramblings usually sound on here. I feel like I don't really need to explicitly state my opinion on things all that often.
Call me Jank Yuger because my brain has melt.
December 18, 2024 at 1:43 AM
Call me Jank Yuger because my brain has melt.
It is my life's mission to secularize yule. Let's start by consistently calling it yule. Jesus can hop on a straw goat and ride off into the sunset.
December 2, 2024 at 11:30 PM
It is my life's mission to secularize yule. Let's start by consistently calling it yule. Jesus can hop on a straw goat and ride off into the sunset.
I once sawr a goat.
December 2, 2024 at 11:27 PM
I once sawr a goat.
I celebrated this Black Friday by arranging for my grandfather to fulfill one of his lifetime dreams and finally get blacked.
November 29, 2024 at 5:36 PM
I celebrated this Black Friday by arranging for my grandfather to fulfill one of his lifetime dreams and finally get blacked.
I have an elaborate plan for my mom's jack-o-lantern soap dispenser.
November 25, 2024 at 4:54 PM
I have an elaborate plan for my mom's jack-o-lantern soap dispenser.
Farting is strictly for friends and family.
November 25, 2024 at 4:54 PM
Farting is strictly for friends and family.
A lot of fake hip hop fans out there. Little punks that never even heard of Giminy Thiccoc or .38 Spaz or even Tre Cocs. "Trap was better before Duke Wellingtons dropped Tape-Tapes" like bitch get outta here with that boomer ass toilet opinion, dude. Wellster is fucking single-handedly saving […]
Original post on mastodon.social
mastodon.social
November 20, 2024 at 7:08 PM
A lot of fake hip hop fans out there. Little punks that never even heard of Giminy Thiccoc or .38 Spaz or even Tre Cocs. "Trap was better before Duke Wellingtons dropped Tape-Tapes" like bitch get outta here with that boomer ass toilet opinion, dude. Wellster is fucking single-handedly saving […]
Retooted randos keep telling me my Mastodon experience is diminished by being on mastodon.social instead of nerdfarts.shit or linuxcuck.cum or garbagefire.assholes or whatever the fuck niche ass server would be a better choice. All while being on any server at all poses a risk that whatever […]
Original post on mastodon.social
mastodon.social
November 18, 2024 at 4:01 PM
Retooted randos keep telling me my Mastodon experience is diminished by being on mastodon.social instead of nerdfarts.shit or linuxcuck.cum or garbagefire.assholes or whatever the fuck niche ass server would be a better choice. All while being on any server at all poses a risk that whatever […]
Keep those 💎diamond💎 glands steady, Cuckoin hodlers! I will never sell a single 💲Cuck as long as I live (and my last will and testament will specify that after my death, those tasty Cucks will remain in my blockchain wallet until the heat death of the universe).
#nopaperhands #hodler4lyfe
#nopaperhands #hodler4lyfe
November 13, 2024 at 11:31 PM
Keep those 💎diamond💎 glands steady, Cuckoin hodlers! I will never sell a single 💲Cuck as long as I live (and my last will and testament will specify that after my death, those tasty Cucks will remain in my blockchain wallet until the heat death of the universe).
#nopaperhands #hodler4lyfe
#nopaperhands #hodler4lyfe
After an unfortunate anal evacuation last night, I now have the worst case of the piles that I have ever experienced. Hey everybody! Look over here! It's the guy whose got a boquet of water balloons hanging out his ass!
If someone were to pork me up the poop chute right now, they'd get some […]
If someone were to pork me up the poop chute right now, they'd get some […]
Original post on mastodon.social
mastodon.social
November 13, 2024 at 12:25 PM
After an unfortunate anal evacuation last night, I now have the worst case of the piles that I have ever experienced. Hey everybody! Look over here! It's the guy whose got a boquet of water balloons hanging out his ass!
If someone were to pork me up the poop chute right now, they'd get some […]
If someone were to pork me up the poop chute right now, they'd get some […]
Reposted by Ebeeto
When I die please mix my ashes with concrete, then turn me into a brick and throw me at an Amazon Warehouse
November 7, 2024 at 11:12 AM
When I die please mix my ashes with concrete, then turn me into a brick and throw me at an Amazon Warehouse