kahlil: “i like the idea of chicago. and then i remember it’s in illinois” 😭💀💀💀

best of white elephant 2025:
- huge bowl of garlic cloves
- bottle of arak
- stack of californian socialist magazines
- $45 worth of pine nuts
- a lighter

she’s hungry LET HER EAT!!!!!

she has cow stomachs!!!!!

"your aunt, she is an animal. every damn time i sit down with her for breakfast she's already thinking about lunch. it's unforgivable"

i was wondering what prompted that message 😂

you may be thinking, henry, vsmp finale was on sunday. why have you not made your vampire posts. and the answer to that is because i am full of rage and melancholy. and also despair. hope that helps 👍

feeling unhealthy about owen stumbling across the cure in the first few episodes and keeping it a secret from everyone else at the castle. and straight up telling legs a cure DOESN’T EXIST when legs takes him aside to says he’s trying to find one. nothing but respect for my lying liar who lies 🫡

MY BRETHREN IN CHRIST…… 🙃 every day i wake up to new silliness

yesss the block button is truly your best friend and should be used OFTEN!!!! i feel like if someone is complaining about an online space being toxic it’s bc they’re afraid to block. (exception: twitter, which cannot be saved)

GOD…scott killing legs and legs being like “he’s a dangerous murderer” vs owen killing legs and legs immediately saying “no no i asked for that one” 💀💀💀

okay i’ve slept on it and officially decided i am Unwell about legs saying “who have you turned, owen.” and owen saying “no one. i follow no sire.” and the SHEER UTTER RELIEF IN LEGS’ VOICE WHEN HE SAYS “…that’s the best thing i could have ever heard” 😭💔

grabbing owen by the shoulders and shaking him so hard his skeleton rattles around like a maraca

THE!!!!!! THEM!!!!!! TH

“this is good. this is a good thing that i’m doing. he would be proud of me” I AM CHEWING ON MY COUCH

“what’s changed? from five days ago to now?”
“i snapped 🙂”

BRO IM SO SCARED 💀💀💀💀💀