I wish I sang like 70s Rod Stewart
October 23, 2025 at 2:05 PM
I wish I sang like 70s Rod Stewart
I'm a modern day Gatsby without the charm or money
September 28, 2025 at 12:54 PM
I'm a modern day Gatsby without the charm or money
All of the dogs I follow on IG are about the same age which means they're all going to die around the same time and, not to sound dramatic, but I don't want to experience that and I hope I'm dead first.
September 12, 2025 at 12:52 PM
All of the dogs I follow on IG are about the same age which means they're all going to die around the same time and, not to sound dramatic, but I don't want to experience that and I hope I'm dead first.
I'm going to get a carnivorous plant and name it Derek.
August 15, 2025 at 3:28 PM
I'm going to get a carnivorous plant and name it Derek.
There's no better feeling as a parent then when your kid starts joining in on your bits.
August 2, 2025 at 1:17 PM
There's no better feeling as a parent then when your kid starts joining in on your bits.
I am craving a Dutch Baby.
July 24, 2025 at 8:47 PM
I am craving a Dutch Baby.
"Still punk" I whispered to myself, while tearing up at the new Superman movie.
July 19, 2025 at 6:40 PM
"Still punk" I whispered to myself, while tearing up at the new Superman movie.
Being a nihilist with a kid is... dizzying.
May 2, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Being a nihilist with a kid is... dizzying.
I mark time in phases of how much I think about Sydney Sweeney.
April 20, 2025 at 1:36 AM
I mark time in phases of how much I think about Sydney Sweeney.
Apparently I have very strong opinions about denim jackets with zippers
March 20, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Apparently I have very strong opinions about denim jackets with zippers
Hey! Listen!
Why are rugs so expensive?
Why are rugs so expensive?
March 15, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Hey! Listen!
Why are rugs so expensive?
Why are rugs so expensive?
Is it pet rats or pets rat?
And, no, not great.
And, no, not great.
March 1, 2025 at 11:13 PM
Is it pet rats or pets rat?
And, no, not great.
And, no, not great.
What's better than a suspiciously jacked saxophone player?
January 28, 2025 at 3:17 PM
What's better than a suspiciously jacked saxophone player?
Oh. No thank you. I bought a t shirt, I did not "join a community"
January 19, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Oh. No thank you. I bought a t shirt, I did not "join a community"
I like my women like I like my sentences: With a colon
January 1, 2025 at 7:54 PM
I like my women like I like my sentences: With a colon
I would rather hire a rotating series of elderly men to spit in every room of my house than ever update the firmware on my humidifier again.
December 20, 2024 at 10:16 PM
I would rather hire a rotating series of elderly men to spit in every room of my house than ever update the firmware on my humidifier again.
I am very much NOT a conspiracy theorist, but I have to ask: What IS up with the drones? I saw two last night in Maine.
December 19, 2024 at 5:01 PM
I am very much NOT a conspiracy theorist, but I have to ask: What IS up with the drones? I saw two last night in Maine.
Bored?
Sing Sister Hazel's All For You in a PROBLEMATIC Irish accent at the top of your lungs.
Sing Sister Hazel's All For You in a PROBLEMATIC Irish accent at the top of your lungs.
December 17, 2024 at 12:12 AM
Bored?
Sing Sister Hazel's All For You in a PROBLEMATIC Irish accent at the top of your lungs.
Sing Sister Hazel's All For You in a PROBLEMATIC Irish accent at the top of your lungs.
I hope one day to die in an old timey plane with wicker seats that crashes into a barn.
December 12, 2024 at 8:32 PM
I hope one day to die in an old timey plane with wicker seats that crashes into a barn.
If buying garland for a Christmas tree has taught me anything, it's that I absolutely do not know how to estimate distance in a circumference.
December 6, 2024 at 1:50 AM
If buying garland for a Christmas tree has taught me anything, it's that I absolutely do not know how to estimate distance in a circumference.
*sings mise en place to the Evenflow melody
November 21, 2024 at 1:32 PM
*sings mise en place to the Evenflow melody