My biggest Magic achievement: my Gimbal deck’s primary goal is to see how many differently named artifact tokens I can have on the field at one time. My record is currently 26. I don’t think I’m going to top this, but trying to do it is the fun part.

I’ve always been partial to Reparations.

Gaea’s Blessing has been an auto-include for me in almost every green deck I have. Worst case scenario, I shuffle three back in and draw a card. Best case scenario, the mill player hits it for the third time and starts sweating profusely.

D&D night. One player brought a pumpkin pie. Another player brought Hershey’s Kisses. I have had so much sugar…

My Gimbal deck isn’t trying to win: it’s just trying to break its record for the Biggest Gremlin. Before tonight, the record was fifteen. It’s now twenty-six. My deck went off, yo (and won). It also created the messiest board state ever.

It doesn’t matter that they are fed the same thing at the same time, Capote will inevitably abandon his dinner to try and bully Harper for hers. Capote does not understand why he gets picked up and held until Harper finishes eating. Capote is a smart cat, but he never learns.