@sarahandco.bsky.social was in a car crash. I was first on the scene and was concerned she might have concussion.
I asked her “how many fingers am I holding up?”
Sarah screamed and said “Oh My God, I’m paralysed from the waist down!”
#ThisIsAllTrue

@sarahandco.bsky.social rang me up and said that she was in terrible pain! If she touched her head, it hurts. Her shoulder, hip, knee or foot too!

I told her that she had a broken finger.

#ThisIsAllTrue

I went round to see @sarahandco.bsky.social and saw that she was packing loads of clothes into bin bags, so I asked what she was doing.
She said that she was donating old clothes for starving people.
I said "Anyone who can fit into your clothes isn't starving!"
#ThisIsAllTrue

I heard that @sarahandco.bsky.social has had sex with a LOT of celebrities. I asked her how it was.
She said "Great, until they kicked me out of the wax museum!"
#ThisIsAllTrue

@sarahandco.bsky.social asked my advice on how to smuggle a skunk through customs.
I told her to hide it down her knickers.
She said "But what about the smell?"
I said "well, if it dies, it dies!"
#ThisIsAllTrue

Was out walking with @sarahandco.bsky.social and she pointed at some wind turbines and asked "Why do we keep building wind farms, don't we have enough wind? Shouldn't we be farming something more scarce, like unicorns?" #ThisIsAllTrue.

Having not read the sentencing remarks, I’m cautious about rushing to conclusions, but on its face Feathers McGraw appears to be a prime example of the rampant sentence inflation that has led to chronic overcrowding in our zoos and the unedifying spectacle of animals being released early.

Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work