No no no. Don't let the bitey girl off that easily. Young Zack loves everyone and hasn't bitten any of us; a lovelier boy you couldn't hope to meet.

I know Mindy pulls her punches, she rarely breaks the skin and could do much more damage if she wanted to. But lordy her love language *stings*.

This news makes every cat bite I've ever had hurt just that little bit more.

In Milngavie, with wet socks.

One of the people who overheard me stumbling my way through a feminist argument whilst off my tits was my now wife, who years later told me *that* was what convinced her I was worth a first date. Our third wedding anniversary is on Wednesday, and we have a 2 year old daughter.

At my 30th birthday party (which i do not remember, on account of being quite drunk) I apparently called out a friend for claiming the gender pay gap was invented, and gave a surprisingly coherent counter that I'm pretty sure was just me repeating a Caroline Criado-Perez Twitter thread I'd read once

Over the last couple of years I've made up a theme song for my cat, to the tune of Cruella de Ville and with verses based on various cute events from her life. Then one day she got a jobby stuck in her bum fluff and smeared it all over the living room floor, and now the song has taken A Turn.

6 folk accepted it without question. One even apologised. There were only 8 of us in the team as well and honestly, inches came off both the head and the beard. You could have stuffed a good sized pillow with the offcuts, had you been of a mind.

I went out for a lunchtime haircut and beard trim in my last job, it had been at least three months since my last trip and i was starting to look like Captain Caveman. Anyhoo, when I got back to the office, I met everyone's cheery "nice haircut" with a look of pure confusion and a "sorry, what?"