Dubheasa
@dubheasa.bsky.social
Personal account of a certain fae, more "this is what's on my mind."
Hahahaha oh fuck my life, the NRC is getting gutted. For those who aren't nuclear nerds, the NRC is the reason why the US's biggest incident was 'we let out radioactive steam from a plant that ran for another 30+ years' instead of 'we have an exclusion zone two years after initial startup.'
May 24, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Hahahaha oh fuck my life, the NRC is getting gutted. For those who aren't nuclear nerds, the NRC is the reason why the US's biggest incident was 'we let out radioactive steam from a plant that ran for another 30+ years' instead of 'we have an exclusion zone two years after initial startup.'
I am so aggressively bored right now. I have been stuck in my apartment for the past week and it's finally made me lose my mind.
April 21, 2025 at 11:34 PM
I am so aggressively bored right now. I have been stuck in my apartment for the past week and it's finally made me lose my mind.
Bleh. Okay, this is the point where I need to move again. The state's gone aggressively anti-trans, to the point where they're going after IDs and HRT, and I'm like... I thought I might have 'til September, but no, looks like I gotta start making plans now. No idea what to do though...
March 19, 2025 at 4:06 AM
Bleh. Okay, this is the point where I need to move again. The state's gone aggressively anti-trans, to the point where they're going after IDs and HRT, and I'm like... I thought I might have 'til September, but no, looks like I gotta start making plans now. No idea what to do though...
Yeah I'm posting on this one. I don't want to clutter my main feed with it, but today I'm just... I feel like I'm barely hanging in right now. Like everything is just... not great. Between my job being a lot of nothing and politics, I just feel like I'm on the edge of a meltdown constantly.
January 23, 2025 at 11:25 PM
Yeah I'm posting on this one. I don't want to clutter my main feed with it, but today I'm just... I feel like I'm barely hanging in right now. Like everything is just... not great. Between my job being a lot of nothing and politics, I just feel like I'm on the edge of a meltdown constantly.
All right. Now that the depressive phase is over, I can at least address what's going on with me in a meaningful way. TL;DR version: the root of the problem is that I have a *bad* sense of where boundaries are, and when I shoot over them, I overcorrect *hard* which makes me pull away hard.
May 2, 2024 at 7:41 PM
All right. Now that the depressive phase is over, I can at least address what's going on with me in a meaningful way. TL;DR version: the root of the problem is that I have a *bad* sense of where boundaries are, and when I shoot over them, I overcorrect *hard* which makes me pull away hard.
This feeling that I've been treating like anxiety? It's *guilt*. Oh, there's anxiety mixed in with it, but being able to recognize the guilt now is definitely a thing. It's not a *fun* thing, though. One day I'll get it.
May 1, 2024 at 2:00 AM
This feeling that I've been treating like anxiety? It's *guilt*. Oh, there's anxiety mixed in with it, but being able to recognize the guilt now is definitely a thing. It's not a *fun* thing, though. One day I'll get it.
I'm fighting probably one of the worst bad brain episodes I've had in a while. I can tell that I'm in a depressive episode, and that some of the things I'm worried about make sense to justify just dropping everything and running away, but because of the two together I'm unable to tell if I'm right.
April 28, 2024 at 6:43 PM
I'm fighting probably one of the worst bad brain episodes I've had in a while. I can tell that I'm in a depressive episode, and that some of the things I'm worried about make sense to justify just dropping everything and running away, but because of the two together I'm unable to tell if I'm right.
Like... for real, so many people are like 'it doesn't matter lol' and I'm sitting here trying to figure out what potential exit strategies I have if things get really bad in a year's time. I hate that I'm dreading politics because it's just a game to most people, and the consequences are my life.
January 21, 2024 at 10:22 PM
Like... for real, so many people are like 'it doesn't matter lol' and I'm sitting here trying to figure out what potential exit strategies I have if things get really bad in a year's time. I hate that I'm dreading politics because it's just a game to most people, and the consequences are my life.
Honestly, nothing triggers social anxiety as much as people you've been friends with suddenly cheering on an autocrat that's made a promise to turn people like you into second-class citizens. I can't even write it off, because history points out what happens next. :\
January 21, 2024 at 10:20 PM
Honestly, nothing triggers social anxiety as much as people you've been friends with suddenly cheering on an autocrat that's made a promise to turn people like you into second-class citizens. I can't even write it off, because history points out what happens next. :\
Woo, I've got a bead on my emotions right now. TL;DR version: as I don't have a healthy family relationship, I've never actually been to the funeral of family members. And I'm... saddened by this, because it's just another piece of life that I don't get to experience.
January 14, 2024 at 6:41 AM
Woo, I've got a bead on my emotions right now. TL;DR version: as I don't have a healthy family relationship, I've never actually been to the funeral of family members. And I'm... saddened by this, because it's just another piece of life that I don't get to experience.
"As much as it hurts, ain't it wonderful to feel? So go and break your wings, follow your heart 'til it bleeds, as we run towards the end of the dream." I don't know why I'm obsessing over this, but it's definitely resonating tonight with my emotions. A fair bit of tears, too, and I don't know why.
January 14, 2024 at 6:08 AM
"As much as it hurts, ain't it wonderful to feel? So go and break your wings, follow your heart 'til it bleeds, as we run towards the end of the dream." I don't know why I'm obsessing over this, but it's definitely resonating tonight with my emotions. A fair bit of tears, too, and I don't know why.
I'm half asleep right now but I wonder: does dealing with cptsd in a constructive way also make you more resilient to trauma from other sources? Like, you learn how to cope with it, and more down the same line is just "yeah, yeah, we've all seen the time knife"?
January 6, 2024 at 5:06 AM
I'm half asleep right now but I wonder: does dealing with cptsd in a constructive way also make you more resilient to trauma from other sources? Like, you learn how to cope with it, and more down the same line is just "yeah, yeah, we've all seen the time knife"?
Gonna be real for a sec: I like most other fae vtubers out there. Like, I think I get along with 'em, at least; I realize I'm a bit much sometime so I don't gripe if they don't return the interest. Then there's a few out there I see and instantly just go like "NO" to and I have no idea *why*.
December 30, 2023 at 1:55 PM
Gonna be real for a sec: I like most other fae vtubers out there. Like, I think I get along with 'em, at least; I realize I'm a bit much sometime so I don't gripe if they don't return the interest. Then there's a few out there I see and instantly just go like "NO" to and I have no idea *why*.
I use this account for rambling on my bullshit. Today's offering is what I'm worried about for US politics come this next election.
You see, the US democratic party's functional platform is "we're not trump". That said, a lot of their plank is functionally indistinguishable from their opponents.
You see, the US democratic party's functional platform is "we're not trump". That said, a lot of their plank is functionally indistinguishable from their opponents.
December 29, 2023 at 6:18 AM
I use this account for rambling on my bullshit. Today's offering is what I'm worried about for US politics come this next election.
You see, the US democratic party's functional platform is "we're not trump". That said, a lot of their plank is functionally indistinguishable from their opponents.
You see, the US democratic party's functional platform is "we're not trump". That said, a lot of their plank is functionally indistinguishable from their opponents.
loooooool my half brother told me today that the reason he didn't tell me our father died five months ago was because I never respond to his holiday texts. Which should uh, prove why I don't respond to his holiday texts.
December 20, 2023 at 2:42 AM
loooooool my half brother told me today that the reason he didn't tell me our father died five months ago was because I never respond to his holiday texts. Which should uh, prove why I don't respond to his holiday texts.
Despite my efforts in wanting to be kind, can I please just have one day where I don't feel utterly misanthropic about people in general? I have to remind myself that the most vocal and visible people aren't indicative of the whole, but it gets tiresome seeing people fall for the same shit. z.z
December 16, 2023 at 11:20 AM
Despite my efforts in wanting to be kind, can I please just have one day where I don't feel utterly misanthropic about people in general? I have to remind myself that the most vocal and visible people aren't indicative of the whole, but it gets tiresome seeing people fall for the same shit. z.z
Haha, my brain's back on its 'hey you single fuck why don't you get a girlfriend' stuff; like I can just pick up one at the corner store.
I mean, it's *possible*, just *incredibly unlikely*. But you get what I mean, right?
I mean, it's *possible*, just *incredibly unlikely*. But you get what I mean, right?
December 13, 2023 at 2:03 PM
Haha, my brain's back on its 'hey you single fuck why don't you get a girlfriend' stuff; like I can just pick up one at the corner store.
I mean, it's *possible*, just *incredibly unlikely*. But you get what I mean, right?
I mean, it's *possible*, just *incredibly unlikely*. But you get what I mean, right?
So I got confirmation that my father died back in July today. The biggest thought I have on it is that I hope that his family decides to leave me alone from here on out, which seems to be the case so far. No condolences, please; I don't mourn him, only the memories of those few kindnesses he did.
December 9, 2023 at 9:25 AM
So I got confirmation that my father died back in July today. The biggest thought I have on it is that I hope that his family decides to leave me alone from here on out, which seems to be the case so far. No condolences, please; I don't mourn him, only the memories of those few kindnesses he did.
I'm awake and don't want to sleep. Or rather I do want to sleep but I want to keep my brain busy instead of actually going to sleep. One of those nights I wish I had someone to snuggle up to and relax, or at least ask for a back rub to wind down.
December 2, 2023 at 7:57 AM
I'm awake and don't want to sleep. Or rather I do want to sleep but I want to keep my brain busy instead of actually going to sleep. One of those nights I wish I had someone to snuggle up to and relax, or at least ask for a back rub to wind down.
Having a night. Short form: I think someone talked about me behind my back while being smiles to me, because the people he talked to are acting super distant afterwards. I get my vibes aren't for everyone but ugh, it's not like I'm not open about my bad habits in the first place. ;P
November 22, 2023 at 2:11 AM
Having a night. Short form: I think someone talked about me behind my back while being smiles to me, because the people he talked to are acting super distant afterwards. I get my vibes aren't for everyone but ugh, it's not like I'm not open about my bad habits in the first place. ;P
Augh, my brain is *absolutely* eating itself tonight. As in, I keep having the intrusive thought that everyone's avoiding me, which realizing that it's an intrusive thought and making me weird about stuff makes me think it's valid to avoid me and whee down that logic spiral! \o/
November 14, 2023 at 5:02 AM
Augh, my brain is *absolutely* eating itself tonight. As in, I keep having the intrusive thought that everyone's avoiding me, which realizing that it's an intrusive thought and making me weird about stuff makes me think it's valid to avoid me and whee down that logic spiral! \o/
naptime for me. My mood crashed; I'll explain myself after I reset my brain meats.
November 12, 2023 at 1:05 AM
naptime for me. My mood crashed; I'll explain myself after I reset my brain meats.
Yesterday: "Damn I'm in a mood!" Today: oh it was prelude to cramps and blah and bloaty.
November 10, 2023 at 6:57 AM
Yesterday: "Damn I'm in a mood!" Today: oh it was prelude to cramps and blah and bloaty.
I'm far too braindead tonight but I'm 110% being in one of my "I want tobe touched EVERYWHERE" moods. xD
November 9, 2023 at 8:47 AM
I'm far too braindead tonight but I'm 110% being in one of my "I want tobe touched EVERYWHERE" moods. xD
Man, why am I having the hardest time focusing on things and feeling like I'm constantly needing a nap? Oh, you mean I haven't remembered to take my morning meds since last thursday? ...oops. I absolutely can't forget them tomorrow when I get up. @.@
November 9, 2023 at 5:35 AM
Man, why am I having the hardest time focusing on things and feeling like I'm constantly needing a nap? Oh, you mean I haven't remembered to take my morning meds since last thursday? ...oops. I absolutely can't forget them tomorrow when I get up. @.@