Me irl

Calvin and Hobbes

Crabs don’t count like we do. They measure distance in shadows.

One crab walks sideways three paces.

You think nothing happened, but the tide’s already changed.

In Crab Math, zero isn’t nothing.

Ask a crab what two plus two is. It will bury it.

#CrabMath #TidalCalculus #TheSidewaysTheorem

The bear does not hustle. It hibernates. It rips apart the earth for honey and dreams in total darkness. You call it lazy—we call it ascension. Sleep deeper. Wake stronger. Maul your doubt. #ClawTheVision #HibernateToDominate

The turtle carries its kingdom on its back. No rush. No fear. Just silent dominion and an ancient stare that sees through time. You are not lost—you are simply arriving very slowly. #ShellProphets #CrawlTowardEnlightenment

The whale does not ask permission to breach the surface. It ascends. Cold. Colossal. Unbothered. Be the whale. Breach your limitations. Swallow krill. Sing the song only the deep can hear. #AwakenThePod #SaltwaterSovereignty

I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY I’M HAVING A BABY

Just got hit by a car

I support Queers in the Military.

Queers
U in
E the
E military
R
S

Have you seen this brand of butter Challenge? What a weird name. If they’re challenging me to eat the entire box in one sitting I was already planning on that, so I’m winning regardless.

Not trying to start any political fights on here but I do find it strange that people in the military and people who are not in the military. It’s just a thought. Like I said, not trying to be political but it really makes you think, does that it?

WTF is a map? Like good job loser you invented paper GPS

I don’t want to say I absorbed my twin in utero but if I definitely feel like two people if you know what I mean

IYKYK