Andrew Searles
@drowningthunder.bsky.social
Perth, Australia
I write and talk about games a lot. Seen on Vooks, Maxi-Geek, Junkee and others. I also do tax, but don’t talk about that.
I write and talk about games a lot. Seen on Vooks, Maxi-Geek, Junkee and others. I also do tax, but don’t talk about that.
My favourite though, has to go to Poliwag. The beast eyes. The red uhhh nose? Mouth? The wrong colour tail. The plastic imperfections. The weird smear on his side. And of course, simply no attempt at the swirl on the body.
Absolutely awful on every level.
Absolutely awful on every level.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
My favourite though, has to go to Poliwag. The beast eyes. The red uhhh nose? Mouth? The wrong colour tail. The plastic imperfections. The weird smear on his side. And of course, simply no attempt at the swirl on the body.
Absolutely awful on every level.
Absolutely awful on every level.
My runner-up award goes to Mr Mime, which feels appropriate. The colours are all sorts of wrong, his face looks like a Ditto, and when leaning just looks like he’s taking a leak against a wall. Nightmare fuel, no notes.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
My runner-up award goes to Mr Mime, which feels appropriate. The colours are all sorts of wrong, his face looks like a Ditto, and when leaning just looks like he’s taking a leak against a wall. Nightmare fuel, no notes.
Brown plastic must have also been a no-go, because Tyrunt is rocking an all-black look. At least the model isn’t terrible, even if his head is too heavy to make him stand upright.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Brown plastic must have also been a no-go, because Tyrunt is rocking an all-black look. At least the model isn’t terrible, even if his head is too heavy to make him stand upright.
Now we’re at the cream of the crop.
Perhaps the most questionable of the bunch is Sableye. Sort of. I dont get this one. They clearly had purple plastic - they used it on Haunter. So why on earth is this thing blue? I have questions.
Perhaps the most questionable of the bunch is Sableye. Sort of. I dont get this one. They clearly had purple plastic - they used it on Haunter. So why on earth is this thing blue? I have questions.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Now we’re at the cream of the crop.
Perhaps the most questionable of the bunch is Sableye. Sort of. I dont get this one. They clearly had purple plastic - they used it on Haunter. So why on earth is this thing blue? I have questions.
Perhaps the most questionable of the bunch is Sableye. Sort of. I dont get this one. They clearly had purple plastic - they used it on Haunter. So why on earth is this thing blue? I have questions.
This is Pachirisu…or it’s meant to be. The simplified place and lack of blue colouring really makes it barely recognisable. Bad.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
This is Pachirisu…or it’s meant to be. The simplified place and lack of blue colouring really makes it barely recognisable. Bad.
Gothorita is a disaster. The lack of white colouring, and a sticker for a face that barely sits on the head. Very bad.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Gothorita is a disaster. The lack of white colouring, and a sticker for a face that barely sits on the head. Very bad.
It’s clear by this point they only had one shade of green plastic. And multiple colours are just too hard. Pansage is done dirty here. Just look those eyes. He needs help.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
It’s clear by this point they only had one shade of green plastic. And multiple colours are just too hard. Pansage is done dirty here. Just look those eyes. He needs help.
Why is there pink here? Also no yellow. And no attempt at a face. Bellossom deserved better.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Why is there pink here? Also no yellow. And no attempt at a face. Bellossom deserved better.
This Absol figure is half a centimetre thick, making a really weird flat face that looks like it’s sitting way too low. Also no colouring on the pointy bits.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
This Absol figure is half a centimetre thick, making a really weird flat face that looks like it’s sitting way too low. Also no colouring on the pointy bits.
Pignite’s face is ok, but I can’t forgive the lack of detail - his wrestling-style overalls are missing lots of colour on the front, and are completely absent on the back. The bright orange butt ain’t it.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Pignite’s face is ok, but I can’t forgive the lack of detail - his wrestling-style overalls are missing lots of colour on the front, and are completely absent on the back. The bright orange butt ain’t it.
Speaking of eyes, I think Articuno takes the win for worst eyes. Look at them. They’re not even slightly aligned. Plus the tail is just coming out of its leg. And the colour is more akin to a shiny Articuno than a normal one.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Speaking of eyes, I think Articuno takes the win for worst eyes. Look at them. They’re not even slightly aligned. Plus the tail is just coming out of its leg. And the colour is more akin to a shiny Articuno than a normal one.
Dragonite maybe isn’t as bad as this placing suggests. But it’s the eyes on the oddly shaped plastic head, combined with the lack of colouring on the chest, that just makes it hard for me to put it any lower.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Dragonite maybe isn’t as bad as this placing suggests. But it’s the eyes on the oddly shaped plastic head, combined with the lack of colouring on the chest, that just makes it hard for me to put it any lower.
Electabuzz is defined by the lightning bolt patterns on his body. Not here though - his entire body is (the wrong shade of) yellow. The only black line is his monobrow. So uhhh I guess that’s something?
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Electabuzz is defined by the lightning bolt patterns on his body. Not here though - his entire body is (the wrong shade of) yellow. The only black line is his monobrow. So uhhh I guess that’s something?
Delibird is rocking some cursed-looking eyes, the worst paint job of the bunch. And missing all the yellow.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Delibird is rocking some cursed-looking eyes, the worst paint job of the bunch. And missing all the yellow.
I got Tangela on day one and honestly it set a good bar for what was to come. The narrow shape, slim eye window, wrong coloured shoes. All fabulous. Also would not stand.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
I got Tangela on day one and honestly it set a good bar for what was to come. The narrow shape, slim eye window, wrong coloured shoes. All fabulous. Also would not stand.
It’s hard to put my finger on what makes Pikachu look so off. I think it’s the bugged-out eyes and the red “wot” mouth. Also he does not stand up, and even leaning on a backdrop only stands on an angle. Looks very confused.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
It’s hard to put my finger on what makes Pikachu look so off. I think it’s the bugged-out eyes and the red “wot” mouth. Also he does not stand up, and even leaning on a backdrop only stands on an angle. Looks very confused.
Haunter gets included here mostly for the awful face, but gets some bonus points for the fact it has a stand, but resting it on the stand results in it basically being face-planted to the floor, hence having to lean him here so you can actually see it.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Haunter gets included here mostly for the awful face, but gets some bonus points for the fact it has a stand, but resting it on the stand results in it basically being face-planted to the floor, hence having to lean him here so you can actually see it.
Slowbro brings up what will become common issues - bad faces, wrong shapes, and multiple colours wrong or missing. We’ve got no white around his mouth or on his belly, and the shell is an off putting green with no eyes. Not good.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Slowbro brings up what will become common issues - bad faces, wrong shapes, and multiple colours wrong or missing. We’ve got no white around his mouth or on his belly, and the shell is an off putting green with no eyes. Not good.
Skiploom is probably the last one I’m willing to give a pass mark. Sure the flower on its head is the wrong colour, and his smile is kinda lopsided, but it’s not terrible.
Now we’re getting to the next tier.
Now we’re getting to the next tier.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Skiploom is probably the last one I’m willing to give a pass mark. Sure the flower on its head is the wrong colour, and his smile is kinda lopsided, but it’s not terrible.
Now we’re getting to the next tier.
Now we’re getting to the next tier.
Galvantula is a valiant effort. Clearly the face and back patterns are a bit odd, the feet look a bit funky, the colours aren’t quite there, but considering what is to come, this gets a pass.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Galvantula is a valiant effort. Clearly the face and back patterns are a bit odd, the feet look a bit funky, the colours aren’t quite there, but considering what is to come, this gets a pass.
Deerling is next. Not awful, but the pink colouring doesn’t come far enough down the body, the flower isn’t yellow, and although a bit hard to tell from photos, it’s head is oddly tilted to the right.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Deerling is next. Not awful, but the pink colouring doesn’t come far enough down the body, the flower isn’t yellow, and although a bit hard to tell from photos, it’s head is oddly tilted to the right.
Here we have Wobbuffet, and our first sign that we’re going to struggle with Pokemon that have more than one colour. The face stick is fine, but we clearly have a tail without the black colouring or the design.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Here we have Wobbuffet, and our first sign that we’re going to struggle with Pokemon that have more than one colour. The face stick is fine, but we clearly have a tail without the black colouring or the design.
Next up we have Zekrom. For what is a relatively complex design, the mold isn’t too bad, even if lacking some finer detail.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Next up we have Zekrom. For what is a relatively complex design, the mold isn’t too bad, even if lacking some finer detail.
(Pokemon Go screenshots provided for comparison)
Starting off with probably the most normal looking of the bunch, we have Igglybuff. A pretty simple design and one main colour means there’s not a heap that can go wrong here. So far, so good.
Starting off with probably the most normal looking of the bunch, we have Igglybuff. A pretty simple design and one main colour means there’s not a heap that can go wrong here. So far, so good.
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
(Pokemon Go screenshots provided for comparison)
Starting off with probably the most normal looking of the bunch, we have Igglybuff. A pretty simple design and one main colour means there’s not a heap that can go wrong here. So far, so good.
Starting off with probably the most normal looking of the bunch, we have Igglybuff. A pretty simple design and one main colour means there’s not a heap that can go wrong here. So far, so good.
Shortly before December began, my partner came across this cheap, obviously unofficial Pokemon advent calendar. She bought it for me in the hopes that the Pokemon inside would be some truly awful abominations.
It did not disappoint.
If you’ll indulge me, in rough order of horror - a thread. 🧵
It did not disappoint.
If you’ll indulge me, in rough order of horror - a thread. 🧵
December 28, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Shortly before December began, my partner came across this cheap, obviously unofficial Pokemon advent calendar. She bought it for me in the hopes that the Pokemon inside would be some truly awful abominations.
It did not disappoint.
If you’ll indulge me, in rough order of horror - a thread. 🧵
It did not disappoint.
If you’ll indulge me, in rough order of horror - a thread. 🧵