Meeting my bf's family for the first time tonight. He's supposed to pick me up at the trainstation after work.

Had a feeling something was wrong, so I call him.

I was right, he was still asleep (it's 1 pm).

I love it when I don't post anything and *definitely not bots* start following me!

Unsure if my family thinks I am a functioning alcoholic. Nevertheless I am happy with my liquor chocolate adventcalendar that allows me to have a shot everyday until the 24th, after which the real drinking begins!

Istg my mom is a charity for sad old men

She tells 5 men goodnight every night. She met all of them through dating apps and has told all of them it won't work romantically multiple times. Now she wants to invite them for Christmas cause she pities them.

How long before she adopts them?

I need my boyfriend to understand how attractive he is for me to be attracted to him

I am a bisexual, which means I could be dating women. Do you know how hot women are? And how high my standards for men are because of that?

Yet here I am, looking at him, thinking he's the hottest person ever

Hey Spotify, just call me slur next time? This feels even more like a hate crime 🥺

I love it when people tell you the only quality you believe you have is one you do in fact not possess! Really motivating!

Gonna rethink my entire life now

Hi BlueSky,

I don't have much to offer but I do have aspirations of one day making a name for myself by combining my passions and streaming. For now, best I can do are witty comebacks and bad jokes.

Hope it'll statisfy.