Imagine being a ghost and you're stuck haunting a deaf person.

Trump was all over the Epstein emails. Wow. Who saw that coming, besides everybody that can think for themselves.

#FDT

I'm shocked nobody has shot an ICE agent, yet. They're the entire reason we have the second amendment.

Saw a Tesla with a camouflage wrap today. It was weird because everybody I've seen driving a Tesla desperately wants people to know they drive a Tesla. Not this guy.

#fuckMAGA

I bought a party size bag of Funyuns even though I wasn't having a party. I just ate it all myself at home. They didn't check or call the cops or anything.

I am having a blast with AI and my cats. 😆😆

A bunch of Trump’s most influential advisors are advocating for the US to leave NATO and the UN.

Short-sighted, reactionary morons.

You should really ask yourselves why anyone that has the US interests at heart would want us to leave the most powerful alliance in history.

❤️🦅❤️🦅❤️🦅

My mom told me I can't believe everything I hear, referring to "the liberal news," and followed that up with the statement that Elon didn't perform a Nazi salute.

Started calling laundry beads laundry seasoning and laundry detergent laundry sauce. My wife's not impressed, but I'm having a good time with it.

Oliver just saw some shit!

I'm not sure how this machine works . . .