One mask stresses the importance of starting a 401k early, limiting credit card debt, exercising 30 minutes a day and getting your daily fiber intake.
The other mask says dress up like a princess and poop your pants.

Quickshot princess that can take out half-a-dozen outlaws in three seconds with her trusty six-shooter. Also, if you pat her on the shoulder and say "Fine shootin', Princess." she immediately ejeculates into her diaper.

I thought about this a lot on the drive to family's house for Thanksgiving yesterday. I eventually landed on "I think an LLM would be better at writing LLM-speak, but I wouldn't want to waste the water it would take to create inauthentically authentic bad dialogue."

That thing you use to give your little sister a swirlie.

Also a lot of re-gifting. Using the same royal nursery and the same witch over and over. Talk about cheap. :|

Bright side, you did wind up getting the princess' hand after all. She uses both of them to untape your diapers and wipe your bottom.

The crown takes this matter seriously and the princess herself leads a royal party to see what's become of you. But when the princess greets the witch like an old friend and starts fawning over how much cuter you've become, you realize it's less of a rescue and more of a baby shower situation.

Once you're no longer capable of bothering her with silly concepts like tithes and taxes, she'll arrive in person to pay tribute, mostly in the form of knee bounces, bottle feedings and peek-a-boo, all of which convert to gold at very poor rate, unfortunately.

Turns out the lands are home to a witch with some particular ideas on how to deal with bossy nobility. So the bed in the lord's chamber has a hex on it -- or rather, the bed-that-transforms-into-a-cradle has a hex on it.

That's true.

You remind me of the famous character Francesca Cerletti and her iconic victory dance.

Shocker kidnapped her and turned her into a cyborg, but before they could diaper her, she escaped.

Laying underneath a broken infant walker in the Family Guy pose.

As always, if you have an idea for a short story you'd like to submit, feel free to post it here. I've been busy with a long-term project lately, but I'm hoping to touch another one of these soon.

bsky.app/profile/dram...

As always, if you have an idea for a short story you'd like to submit, feel free to post it here. I've been busy with a long-term project lately, but I'm hoping to touch another one of these soon.

bsky.app/profile/dram...