I know it's noticeable when I'm having a bad day. If I disappear that's what I do. I regret existence a lot of the time and feel like I should just be forgotten as a person. I'm not good enough and a burden on people. If you want to prove me wrong do it but the hell I go through says otherwise

This is really taking a long time, I'm on a waiting list for services

oh you have reminded me that i had to take my partners mb apart due to needing to reseat the intel wifi adapter. from what i know if you use the faulty usb port it kills the wifi and bt until you reseat it or reinstall windows. i wish i knew the root cause its a asus b550-plus wifi

If this involves corruption then it does.
A permanent haze over my thoughts would be nice. Just quite horny thoughts. Broken blissfully never the same

I know I act like I'm sane and fine but I'm not. Haven't been normal in years.
I just can't fucking take it longer

I'll see how the next couple of months go then I'll see if it's worth continuing. If I do decide to leave I'll make sure I'm not hurting anyone first, well the best I can. I know it'll hurt some but I'm struggling forcing myself to continue

My family history is full of mental health issues and I definitely got a bag of them. I regularly have issues with emotions either all of the emotions to the point of overstim or none just numb at deaths doorstep. I'm tired of this

I feel like I'm going through hell daily, I've been ignoring myself for years, ignoring the signs, I've got a lot of shit going on mentally and I've been focusing on others and helping them thinking I don't matter. Which to be fair I don't, even though I've saved others I can't save myself

I can't wait to crack out of this shell but I still think I need to remove parts to make it easier. Knives are perfect for that, perfect for extracting meat

I think that will do for now, I'm buying a knife soon. So much more satisfying uses of my body to be made

The pain is so relieving, why didn't I do this sooner

I'm just waiting for it to be quieter, the less people here the better

I'm only alive rn is to take care of my partner but I feel like I'm failing at that, I'm a dead weight on a lot of people rn and want to be less of a burden

All of this is making me disassociate, see and feel things that aren't real. idk how long I can continue like this. I want space and time to recover but I don't have it.

Currently i feel like I'm going through a nightmare over and over again. A lot of my past trauma is being resurfaced and so many little things are too much now. idk if I want to disappear for a while or be online. I'm only talking to a max of 3 people rn. There's too much noise.

tbh that sounds amazing