Based. I did this too once because my cat wanted to be carried and complained if i tried to put him down but i really needed to pee lmao so i had him on my shoulder the whole time

I really like this take on it...and also it just feels less ridden by bots 😅 right now it just feels like peeking into a room where people are doing their own thing and having the liberty to exit whenever i want since no one is forcing me to stay. Lol.

with the new job on the horizon i'm honestly more motivated to get on my feet. I won't pretend that i'm totally fine because I am enraged and resentful of my entire situation, but the fact remains i'm doing my best to not be like her and doing what i can to get out of here.

I've shared about my situation less and less over the years but it didnt mean it got any better - but i did just become better at dealing with it without going like...insane.
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And also because I genuinely don't want to cause unnecessary stir and worry, know that I am actively taking care of myself and have been reaching out to people I trust as I get by mentally. I am not doing anything stupid, I can promise that.
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I'll be back to posting art and interacting with people once i finish my overdue comms. Ive missed creating for me, sharing things and interacting with people. I am on the uptick, somehow.

That's pretty much it. some good positive change is up for me but I just have to clear out a lot of other things.
I dont ask to be forgiven for taking forever, I just ask for a little understanding with my situation. So far everyone's been really kind about it and i really appreciate that.
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With my new job being a pretty good position and not art anymore, I need that time to get myself together and build up more of a portfolio and figure out what to do with myself (especially art wise) while I save up to get out of here and fix my other life priorities.
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Again that's really on me for not setting proper expectations and deadlines and I do apologize for it. I'm still committed to finishing my current batch of comms but after that I've decided i'll be permanently closing them - or at least indefinitely so, as I want to free up my time for my own art.
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And now going back to art and commissions, this is really the main reason I haven't at all been able to deliver progress - most of my time Ive spent living paycheck to paycheck and geniunely had little time to breathe outside of things that kept me sane.
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It'll be hard for me to quit this job because its no longer art related but it's going to afford me a lot of what i need to get my own life going and just get by better. However it also seems like a decent environment. I actually have extended family members here who are looking out for me.
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My time away from bsky and twitter was mostly spent mentally getting by, tending to my current job, but also job hunting and making ways for income. This is where I can report both good and, well, neutral news for me. I did land a really good job that's paying me double, with all gov't benefits.
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Mind you i am a very, very small person, I don't weigh a lot and i'm not very strong. mom is a big lady and could fatally injure me if she wanted to. Again i'm fine, and she's back to being "Sweet" again like the narcissist she is, but that's not getting out of my head anytime soon.
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I can say I'm physically fine, no bruises or bleeding or anything but it's just the fact that she tried to get physical at all that gets me because she never used to be THAT bad. Safe to say her mental state is in the trash. Somehow despite being terminally sick with cancer she is extremely strong
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She said I could stay and things went "back to normal". So basically I didn't have to move out after all but despite me being normally capable of dealing with her BS, This was different as she physically assaulted me despite me never raising a finger. All because she was mad I called her out.
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Anyway, going back to the incident, I had nowhere to go esp since she threatened to kick out the cats too so i panic sought out a lot of solutions. However mom being the mentally unstable spawn of satan she is, came around and "patched up" (she didnt really apologize, not the right way anyway)
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The job market has been horrendous here since the pandemic. This is the main reason i've piled on commissions despite being unable to commit to the deadlines - which I fully take accountability for.
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I don't want ppl asking me why I don't move out because the answer boils down to MONEY. while I did and still do have the privilege of being under someone else's roof, I still have things to pay and my and my fiance's current job did not afford me enough to get out
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Weeks ago, mom tried to forcefully kick me out simply because I told her she was being condescending in a conversation. If youve known me a while you'll know ive always lived in an extremely abusive household so sadly her being crazy is not new but this particular incident was a different level
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