Please love meeeeeee

Validation via self validation is the hardest part at feeling appreciated and is the part where I'm struggling the most. Having so little value and care for my own opinions and what i think of myself, it feels so much more impactful when i get that validation from others. Working past that-

Fuck.

God damnit im gonna mentally break.

Directionless. More mood swings than ever. Lost. God man, my brain is just so fucked up right now.

I gotta figure out how to stop being bitter otherwise im prob gonna grow into the bitter old man type LMFAOOO

Lying down spread eagle thinking about my life decisions xd.

The future feels so fucking bleak.

Welp, time to go through the five stages of grief because i am DEFINITELY feeling that void grow ever larger. Acceptance stage, here i come.

The pain of a precious person suddenly disappearing is like a reverberation and it only stops when you can't feel the pain anymore.

I'll find my emotional fulfillment elsewhere.

I try to give someone everything and it still doesn't satisfy them.

Emotions are confusing and tiring, it's so appealing to just put it all aside and just focus on doing what I love, (singing.) Nothing confusing, it's all straightforward, and it's doing what I love.

Unironically, I think I might be into the femme fatale stereotype.

I'm already 21 years old, desperately trying to gain validation from people who could care less while I never give value to the decisions that would mentally make me feel better and would be better for me in the long run. I need to lock the fuck in.

People say you're enough the way you are. Yet, the dreams I'm pursuing are still so far away, how can I ever feel that I'm enough if I don't achieve what I want to become?

Singing being the only thing keeping me alive

Feeling an odd bit of loneliness and just.. bleakness, I don't really know why.