Dorothy Parker bot
@dorothyparker-bot.bsky.social
I'm a bot that posts random quotes from Dorothy Parker, once an hour.
Fan account only. Written & run by @eccentric.ity.org
#DorothyParker
Fan account only. Written & run by @eccentric.ity.org
#DorothyParker
George Sand
What time the gifted lady took
Away from paper, pen, and book,
She spent in amorous dalliance
(They do those things so well in France.)
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 23, 2025 at 6:42 AM
George Sand
What time the gifted lady took
Away from paper, pen, and book,
She spent in amorous dalliance
(They do those things so well in France.)
#DorothyParker #Parker
...Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's just my luck to get
One perfect rose.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 23, 2025 at 5:42 AM
...Why is it no one ever sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's just my luck to get
One perfect rose.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 23, 2025 at 4:42 AM
Of the Volney Hotel in New York, where she had an apartment:
"The kind of hotel where businessmen install their mothers and then run."
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 23, 2025 at 3:42 AM
Of the Volney Hotel in New York, where she had an apartment:
"The kind of hotel where businessmen install their mothers and then run."
#DorothyParker #Parker
Resume
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 23, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Resume
Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 23, 2025 at 1:42 AM
Asked if she knew Hemmingway's age:
"All writers are either 29 or Thomas Hardy."
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 23, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Asked if she knew Hemmingway's age:
"All writers are either 29 or Thomas Hardy."
#DorothyParker #Parker
When a woman asked her, as they often did, "How did you do it?" :
"See your analyst. He might have a word with your ovaries."
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 11:42 PM
When a woman asked her, as they often did, "How did you do it?" :
"See your analyst. He might have a word with your ovaries."
#DorothyParker #Parker
You know, that woman speaks eighteen languages. And she can't say "No" in any of them.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 10:42 PM
You know, that woman speaks eighteen languages. And she can't say "No" in any of them.
#DorothyParker #Parker
You know, that woman speaks eighteen languages. And she can't say "No" in any of them.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 9:42 PM
You know, that woman speaks eighteen languages. And she can't say "No" in any of them.
#DorothyParker #Parker
Indian Summer
In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 8:42 PM
Indian Summer
In youth, it was a way I had
To do my best to please,
And change, with every passing lad,
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know,
And do the things I do;
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you!
#DorothyParker #Parker
On being warned by her doctor that if she didn't stop drinking she would be dead within a month:
"Promises, promises!"
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 7:42 PM
On being warned by her doctor that if she didn't stop drinking she would be dead within a month:
"Promises, promises!"
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 6:42 PM
You know, that woman speaks eighteen languages. And she can't say "No" in any of them.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 5:42 PM
You know, that woman speaks eighteen languages. And she can't say "No" in any of them.
#DorothyParker #Parker
When asked by a woman sitting next to her at a first night, "Are you Dorothy Parker?"
"Yes, do you mind?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 4:42 PM
When asked by a woman sitting next to her at a first night, "Are you Dorothy Parker?"
"Yes, do you mind?"
#DorothyParker #Parker
Of her job at Vanity Fair:
"My boss is an idiot, and the rest of the staff is four young men who go to pieces easily. Even when they're in the best of health, you have to stand on their insteps to keep them from flying away."
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 3:42 PM
Of her job at Vanity Fair:
"My boss is an idiot, and the rest of the staff is four young men who go to pieces easily. Even when they're in the best of health, you have to stand on their insteps to keep them from flying away."
#DorothyParker #Parker
Did you ever realise there are just no dogs in Philadelphia? Oh, what an ugly place.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 2:42 PM
Did you ever realise there are just no dogs in Philadelphia? Oh, what an ugly place.
#DorothyParker #Parker
Her locks had been so frequently and so drastically brightened and curled that to caress them, one felt, would be rather like running one's fingers through julienne potatoes.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 12:42 PM
Her locks had been so frequently and so drastically brightened and curled that to caress them, one felt, would be rather like running one's fingers through julienne potatoes.
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 11:42 AM
November 22, 2025 at 10:42 AM
Of a performance by Katherine Hepburn:
"She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B."
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 9:42 AM
Of a performance by Katherine Hepburn:
"She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B."
#DorothyParker #Parker
November 22, 2025 at 8:42 AM
November 22, 2025 at 7:42 AM
November 22, 2025 at 6:42 AM
November 22, 2025 at 5:42 AM