Only having Christmas music on my phone and skylight not yet having music rights makes this hilarious.

Happy Friday to those that celebrate.

I accidentally got out of bed at 4:48am because my watch was on the charger and my the water bottle on my nightstand covered the 4 so I thought it was really 5:48am and holy fuck guys, this time of year is so confusing.

Earlier I judged a guy for his terrible parking job just to get back to my car and find my parking was even worse.

I can no longer hear phone calls on my iPhone unless it is on speaker. I just want to apologize to the fellow shoppers of Costco for when I called my partner to debate plastic crates.

Responsibility without Authority never works

Suddenly my dog's homeland doesn't feel very secure.

Dorogrrrl was my AOL handle in the 90s. I haven’t thought of a new identifier more accurate since.

I am just going to post until my people find me.

I started putting up Christmas last weekend because why not?