Aye he's a birrova gobshite, like

Aye, ah Knaa, pet. And yez are always bending over for that nice orange fella - absorbing it both ends

Well, ah've telt ye wor Darren. If yez didn't swallow so much rubbish, ye'd be more regular. You could start by not swallowing all that Reform stuff, for a kick off.

Eeeee ah knaa what yer mean, pet. Ahv been asking meesel that for thortyone years

Eeeeeee wor Darren's always getting blocked, like. I have to feed him senna pods 4 or 5 times a week.

😉

He probs meant Clarice Starling from Silence of the Lambs - eeeee wor Darren does love porvorts and psychopaths

Now then wor Darren - divn't ye be squorting that carnation milk in them like yez usually dee.

Eeeee it does an arl. Quite a stiff walk mind.

Eeeee but wor Darren is good at everything he turns his hand to, so when it comes to turning his hand to wanking, he's proppa good at that an arl. I should know - you can knock on his bedsheets y'knaa.

Eeeee wor Darren is such a gud lad, tho but. He's always deein stuff roond the hoose for his auld mam. I sometimes catch him polishing the desk in his bedroom - the underneath of the desk, mind - yez can hear his little knuckles furiously buffing it up. Worra gud lad.

Divnt taak yer shite! Wor Darren isn't a queea! He's a patriot!

Awwww this reminds me of the day I gave birth to wor Darren.