Dear Diary, today Chump Schmuck gave me an early Christmas present. We all know he's too old, WEAK, and lame to put up an actual fight. Everyone is saying it. If his voters forced him to fillabuster, it would be considered elder abuse, so it's a good thing he's just rolling over.

Let me tell you, folks, this tteokbokki - not great, okay? I've had many tteokbokkis in my life, the best tteokbokki. These, are just mediocre. Some people will say they're good, but trust me, I know the best tteokbokki.