For the longest time i didn’t know the words were “prospero ano” in Feliz navidad. I thought it was “los perros ano”

And when i say longest time i mean till 2025.

I wrote this before he nominated a TV show host rather than a four star general, but it’s aging well.

When a liberal area suffers a climate change disaster, Republicans say “God is punishing them.”

When a conservative area suffers a climate change disaster, Republicans say “Democrats control weather machines.”

Must be hard going through life as a full-blown idiot.

I have a whole section in my freezer dedicated to cheese. What have I become?

If you feel like a blue dot in a red state, you’re not alone — our Rural Caucus is here for you whether you’re from a small town or just passionate about rural causes: secure.everyaction.com/dqLw5fx9SUmu...

I’ve stayed getting roasted by doctors
I went to the pediatrician disheveled & apologized for it. She goes “it’s okay you look normal.”
Then today I asked MY doctor about birth control & he goes “I have this great guy who works with menopausal & geriatric women who could really help you.”

im 32.

I’m officially old.
Someone asked me if I smoked and my genuine answer was
“…like…weed or meat?”
And their answer was meat.

Ive never felt so middle aged and uncool.

I’m convinced my dryer is shrinking my clothes. I tumble on but put every day my shirts feel a little tighter and shorter. But husband says it’s not my dryers fault I’m just getting fat 😂

The only #maha I’ll ever rep

You think it’s bad now? Just wait till a year from now when a 4 star general won’t nuke Norway and gets replaced with DJ pauly D. All while we’re struggling with rickets outbreak

I give America 6 months.

The people who thought that iron in baby cereal was toxic are now running the federal government 🫣

Our new guide for resisting Trump's agenda is here.

Eight years ago, we wrote the Indivisible Guide to organizing locally to pressure Congress and block the Trump agenda. Now, we’re offering our best advice on how everyday people can organize to stop Trump 2.0: indivisible.org/guide

This must be what it’s like living in gothem. The jokers taken over the city and were just waiting for batman hoping he’ll save us.

But we have no Batman.

Hi everyone! Im new here and am looking for followers. I follow back!

Epstein’s Island is now just called Washington DC

Until the last, dying breath of X, I will still call it Twitter.

This really feels like og Twitter and god I miss that feeling so much.