not nearly high enough

i quote “I just got screamed at by Freddie Kruger” at least a dozen times a day

🌅 🚁 🇺🇸
Smoe floks are bron mdae to wvae the falg
Oh, taht red, withe and bule
and wehn the bnad payls “Hial to the Cihef”
tehy pinot the conann at you, oh Lrod.

It ani’t me, It ani’t me
I ani’t no Sotenar’s son, son
It ani’t me, it ani’t me
I ani’t no fantortue one

“I’m begging deep fried Mussolini to send the army to the highest grossing cities in my state to royally fuck all tourism and thereby my worthless state that no one would otherwise visit.”

Deus ex machina is supposed to be a literary device not a literal device

That serious yet inquisitive look in his eyes… he was born to carry a big magnifying glass and crack cases