ive become suicidal at like 6ish and by my teens my main coping mechanism was thinking id be gone soon. ive grown used to thinking about death as a solution to my problems. i couldnt stop wishing for death. i still struggle with it. CS changed that for me. i started fearing death again because of CS

since summer 2022 i lost all my irl friendships for multiple reasons, meanwhile i only made only two friends i met with irl regularly but i don't even talk to one of them anymore, i have no idea how to fix it and my issues sure arent helping

really funny that that song came out the year i actually had the best summer of my life, though right after it ended started one of the most lonely periods of my life, out of which i still havent really fully recovered

no one does it like i do

doesnt matter what type of love

ill add that i talked with the other granma and she went all "i hate your name so i wont use youll always be *deadname* to me because mika is an ugly name"

TwT

and just for context i noticed it by epilating, not anything harmful to myself

just in case you were worried bbg <3

it really feels like i wont make it past 30