JB Pritzker: “Donald Trump and his cronies can fuck all the way off.”

The president wanted the generals know that he moves very slowly when navigating stairs. He’s very careful. “Just try not to fall,” he says. “You don’t have to set any record—be cool.”

Then his staff gave him a Jell-O cup and took him back to the nursing home located on Pennsylvania Avenue.

At least he’s honest once every ten-thousand lies.