There are so many drunk drivers out there, the only way to protect yourself is to drink and drive.

See how dumb that sounds?

It's the word "whatsoever" that pisses me off the most. It's so fucking creepy and gaslight-y. "Look at this hysterical f****t making claims. We were here, like, ten minutes later, and we didn't hear anything like that. Leave the evidence gathering to the pros, little lady." #FuckSanAntonioPolice

How about the evidence that his husband claimed the person who shot him yelled homophobic slurs before firing? What the fuck are they looking for? A spray-painted note saying "I killed him because he's gay?" Go FUCK yourselves, San Antonio police. You are the worst cops. And that bar is really low.

If you don't post stupid shit, people will leave you alone, you fucking idiot. Now, go choke on a Republican dick.

Ummm... that was my point. Generalizations like "liberals don't care for religion" or "conservatives are all racist" are ridiculous. And anyone who wasn't a complete and total fucking idiot would have seen that. To the remedial classes you go, ma'am.

Conservatives don’t care for black, female, gay, lesbian, or trans people I thought. Yall always say F them and shit on them.

See how fucking stupid you sound, you sloppy little cunt?

Also, poor vet tech lady who walked into the room while I was on my knees bent over Sawyer to stop him from trying to claw his own face off and got a fantastic view of my ass because said "fat guy" PJ pants have a real gravity problem. Glad I was wearing my skivvies. I'm sure she was glad, too.

(3/3) And that made me reflect a bit. Does that mean most of you aren't running around thinking "Oh fuck oh fuck what the fuck holy fuck oh fuck?"

(2/3) You know the one: rate how often you experience things like “feeling nervous,” “unable to relax,” “trouble sleeping,” etc.

I wanted to have a "Well, duhhhh" option for all of them.

"OUR" values? Don't you fucking dare speak for me, you complicit piece of festering dogshit.

How's that for a soundbite?

Are you ACTUALLY stupid, or are you just pretending to be to set the bar of expectations so low that we're surprised when you do something even moderately intelligent? Awesome job creating barriers to democracy, Mr. Democrat.

Fuck. I'm a twofer.

Or at the very least, they'd put us on restriction and give us EMD.

Oh. I've been calling him "Prison Pete." Mostly because of all the espionage.

I was just saying this to Chris last night that Maine is gonna be fucked this summer. Even a 10% decrease in tourism from Canada would result in tens of millions of dollars in lost revenue and loss of jobs in Maine's tourism industry. I fear we don't come back from this.

No... I'm responding to the post's claim that "meritocracy is the enemy of equity." It isn't. At all. We need to flip that around. The LACK of equity is the enemy of meritocracy.

My sentiments exactly. I love the spirit of the original post, but I think the logic is a bit flawed. This is not an "either/or" situation. DEI&B does not ignore or override meritocracy; it ensures it by breaking down implicit and explicit biases in candidate selection.

Always hit with at least three jokes. That way if one or two fall flat, you're still the funniest guy and nobody will make fun of you or shove you into a locker.

My favorite I've done is:

A photo of J.D. Vance, notable couch fucker, farting on a white chair while wearing pants Angus Young would likely reject as "too short."