i just genuinely know i am a presence that isnt cared for here

id be dissapointed in myself if i could bring myself to care about myself at all. i genuinely dont know whats wrong either me or why im like this

i just genuinely dont know how im alive. im 22 years old and feel like ive got nothing ahead of me. all the years other people spend parcticing things when theyre young i spent doing absolutely nothing. i have Nothing to show for 22 years on thisplanet

ill probably just stop in a week. honestly apart of the reason i say i just dont play games is because havingto learn any new game makes me so upset because i cant handle failure. i stopped indulging in a hobby just because i couldnt even do that correctly

as much as i smile and fumble through life i just. do nothing for myself. if anything i make everything worse for myself. and i genuinely never see myself getting the drive to change anything for myself anymore. im too fucking lazy and need 1 million pushes and different incentives and even then

i want to create so bad i just cant. im unable

i feel like especially recently i havent been a very good friend to people and i hate to blame it on anything but i think my stressed mental state has just. made me less caring for others atm idk, i needa be better