If someone will cover travel to D.C., and get me in front of him, Ill be happy to call him a cunt to his face.

Seriously, these seem like details the press should be investigating, instead of, you know, pretending to believe mike doesn't know what's going on in the world.

Unmarried college student pretends to adopt a 14 year old boy because... wait, why did Mike move a boy he met at a youth camp into his home?

How does a 50 year old lawyer survive America without a bank account?

Mike without guy without a bank account that pretends to "adopt" children when he's a

Anyone post the Hot Dog guy yet?

👨‍🍳🤌

That, and why do you have 11 people on a drug smuggling operation? That's 11 salaries, 11 witnesses, and 2,000 pounds of cargo space.

You need 3 at most to operate that boat.

1,400 inches I should have said.

Straight line, they were about 1,400 miles away. I don't know if you've ever tried to swim a stricken vessel, but I have, and they would be talented if they could move it 1,400 feet.

1,400 miles away from the U.S.

They were going to paddle the wreckage 1,400 miles to the U.S. 🙄

Put them on a plane and see what happens!

Send Trump too! Let the Dutch do what the U.S. has failed to do so far.

And it keeps getting worse! Every sentence a further descent into narcissism!

What else would she say, "Holy shit, we're all going to lose our shirts!"?

"Hey ferryman, is the return trip this popular?"

Charon: "uh, sure fella, packed boat every trip."