I feel like I’m close with my parents, but we don’t come anywhere close to talking weekly

Can confirm: I am a meat popsicle, not a "real person"

Weren't paying enough attention the first go round, were you?

None of those things are true, tho! What a bummer for you.

So teaching them about heterosexuality is fine, we are just supposed to pretend queers don't exist until the kids are... how old, exactly?

I promise you, it is not "more than that"

You say this like they aren't perpetrators themselves... of course they wouldn't object to abuse they are participating in.

Nonbinary ho reporting for duty!