Anything worth it in this life will be scary and terrifying and heartbreaking and I know that I'm worth it.

I believe that you are worth it.

I believe that this is worth it.

I see you, I believe in you, and I love you for everything that you are.

💗

In the same way that it's okay how much you or anyone else is able to be there for yourselves...there is no right or wrong in this journey so long as you are honoring yourself and your needs.

It's scary and terrifying and heartbreaking but if being nearly 40 has taught me anything it's this...

...afraid and uncomfortable to wear obviously fem clothes with a masc presenting face.

I am doing a lot, I am showing up for myself and I recognize that and when I'm able to I celebrate it but I'm not able to be there all the time or even as much as I would like to and that's okay.

IT IS OKAY

A good example is yesterday morning, I got invited at the breakfast by a friend who I am out to.
When I got dressed I put on a pair of my fem jeans (because they're not obvious) but I still felt like I had to wear a boy shirt because I didn't have time to put on makeup or anything and I was too...

2. I am going to that same woman's house to hang out with just the two of us.

1. I am going to a card shop that's about (not local) where, while I know some people, most would not recognize me but one of the people who works there and is working is a really good friend and one of the women that cracked my egg so I have someone there who makes me feel safe.

The times were I have gone out with the full look (hair, clothes, makeup) for long periods have been one of two situations:

I share pictures of myself when I'm excited or nervous or proud of some new thing that I've tried but I'm not always being brave but most of the time when I am being fem I am at home and I'm not going anywhere or, at most I have an old friend coming over.

Liking the person that I see really is the motivation that I need to keep pushing through self doubt within me and keep going
And when I'm really bad I try to force myself to give give grace to me...and when I don't have that well I have beautiful friends who love me in the way I cant at that moment

I have a confidence when I dress up, wear makeup and put on my hair. I look in the mirror and I genuinely love the woman that I see
Never in my life did I have a fraction of that confidence I was constantly nervous about whether people around him noticed whatever non-trad thing I had going on.

Your life is, was, and will be different from mine and so will your journey.

I constantly get jealous when I look at some content creators as well as the two really close trans fem friends that I have but I also recognize that, so long as I allow myself I'll get there some day as well
I'm not stuck

I love metabee standing there *menacingly*