Dan Cabral
@diesel-dan.bsky.social
My favorite NY Jets stat:
There are 4 teams in the AFC East. Where do the Jets rank in AFC East division titles?
A: 5th
The Baltimore Colts were in the AFC East before moving to Indianapolis, and have more AFC East titles than the Jets, so the Jets rank 5th all-time in a division of 4 teams.
There are 4 teams in the AFC East. Where do the Jets rank in AFC East division titles?
A: 5th
The Baltimore Colts were in the AFC East before moving to Indianapolis, and have more AFC East titles than the Jets, so the Jets rank 5th all-time in a division of 4 teams.
October 15, 2025 at 11:58 PM
My favorite NY Jets stat:
There are 4 teams in the AFC East. Where do the Jets rank in AFC East division titles?
A: 5th
The Baltimore Colts were in the AFC East before moving to Indianapolis, and have more AFC East titles than the Jets, so the Jets rank 5th all-time in a division of 4 teams.
There are 4 teams in the AFC East. Where do the Jets rank in AFC East division titles?
A: 5th
The Baltimore Colts were in the AFC East before moving to Indianapolis, and have more AFC East titles than the Jets, so the Jets rank 5th all-time in a division of 4 teams.
The reason MAGA are upset about Bad Bunny isn't because he's Puerto Rican, or because his songs are in Spanish.
They're upset that something exists in this world that isn't catering specifically to them. They are not the target audience for his performance, and BOY does that piss them off.
They're upset that something exists in this world that isn't catering specifically to them. They are not the target audience for his performance, and BOY does that piss them off.
October 7, 2025 at 11:50 AM
The reason MAGA are upset about Bad Bunny isn't because he's Puerto Rican, or because his songs are in Spanish.
They're upset that something exists in this world that isn't catering specifically to them. They are not the target audience for his performance, and BOY does that piss them off.
They're upset that something exists in this world that isn't catering specifically to them. They are not the target audience for his performance, and BOY does that piss them off.
Reposted by Dan Cabral
Idiocracy was unrealistic only because we got dumber quicker than the movie anticipated
Trump: "On June 14 next year we're gonna have a big UFC fight at the White House, right at the White House, on the grounds of the White House."
October 5, 2025 at 8:34 PM
Idiocracy was unrealistic only because we got dumber quicker than the movie anticipated
Let's be honest... If "thoughts and prayers" actually worked, Trump would've choked on a Big Mac long before he was ever elected President.
October 2, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Let's be honest... If "thoughts and prayers" actually worked, Trump would've choked on a Big Mac long before he was ever elected President.
Which Horsemen of the Apocalypse brings rational thought from Ted Cruz?
Because this makes perfect sense to me, and I'm pretty sure that's a sign of the end-times.
Because this makes perfect sense to me, and I'm pretty sure that's a sign of the end-times.
September 22, 2025 at 8:12 PM
Which Horsemen of the Apocalypse brings rational thought from Ted Cruz?
Because this makes perfect sense to me, and I'm pretty sure that's a sign of the end-times.
Because this makes perfect sense to me, and I'm pretty sure that's a sign of the end-times.
If the MAGA movement has taught me anything, it was the valuable lesson that the "wisdom of the elders" has been one of the most grossly exaggerated myths of history.
September 21, 2025 at 5:49 PM
If the MAGA movement has taught me anything, it was the valuable lesson that the "wisdom of the elders" has been one of the most grossly exaggerated myths of history.
The old hypothetical about a time traveler going back in time to kill Hitler in order to prevent the Holocaust...
What if that's exactly what we witnessed?
Just saying...
What if that's exactly what we witnessed?
Just saying...
September 20, 2025 at 1:38 AM
The old hypothetical about a time traveler going back in time to kill Hitler in order to prevent the Holocaust...
What if that's exactly what we witnessed?
Just saying...
What if that's exactly what we witnessed?
Just saying...
Reposted by Dan Cabral
I keep being told by RW media that I should be outraged about Sydney Sweeney and her ad.
Meanwhile, I'm just over here thinking she looks like if the world's most unenthusiastic handjob became a sentient being.
Meanwhile, I'm just over here thinking she looks like if the world's most unenthusiastic handjob became a sentient being.
August 13, 2025 at 12:40 AM
I keep being told by RW media that I should be outraged about Sydney Sweeney and her ad.
Meanwhile, I'm just over here thinking she looks like if the world's most unenthusiastic handjob became a sentient being.
Meanwhile, I'm just over here thinking she looks like if the world's most unenthusiastic handjob became a sentient being.
Reposted by Dan Cabral
Large section of voters sitting at home on elections is the reason why we are in this mess.
June 13, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Large section of voters sitting at home on elections is the reason why we are in this mess.
A man went into Starbucks and said "I'd like your mildest roast, please."
The barista replied, "You have really average ears."
The barista replied, "You have really average ears."
June 13, 2025 at 4:46 PM
A man went into Starbucks and said "I'd like your mildest roast, please."
The barista replied, "You have really average ears."
The barista replied, "You have really average ears."
Reposted by Dan Cabral
The only thing losing value faster than the stock market is a business degree from Wharton.
April 10, 2025 at 5:08 PM
The only thing losing value faster than the stock market is a business degree from Wharton.
JFC... I went on my monthly Costco/BJ's shopping trip, and felt like I was prepper shopping for an economic apocalypse, and every time I thought I might be overdoing it, I got breaking news alerts that made it seem like it's going to be so much worse than when I started.
I started AN HOUR AGO!!!
I started AN HOUR AGO!!!
April 7, 2025 at 5:55 PM
JFC... I went on my monthly Costco/BJ's shopping trip, and felt like I was prepper shopping for an economic apocalypse, and every time I thought I might be overdoing it, I got breaking news alerts that made it seem like it's going to be so much worse than when I started.
I started AN HOUR AGO!!!
I started AN HOUR AGO!!!
Most of the criticism I'm hearing about the halftime show is from people who are largely upset that it wasn't catering to them.
They were never the target audience, and that's the part that upsets them the most.
They were never the target audience, and that's the part that upsets them the most.
February 10, 2025 at 8:19 PM
Most of the criticism I'm hearing about the halftime show is from people who are largely upset that it wasn't catering to them.
They were never the target audience, and that's the part that upsets them the most.
They were never the target audience, and that's the part that upsets them the most.
Reposted by Dan Cabral
Because of course: www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
Analysis | Trump launched air controller diversity program that he now decries
At a news conference, Trump read a list of conditions he called disqualifying, but his administration started such hiring in 2019.
www.washingtonpost.com
January 31, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Because of course: www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...
Reposted by Dan Cabral
I kept this screenshot assuming someday we might be asked to forget.
January 24, 2025 at 11:25 AM
I kept this screenshot assuming someday we might be asked to forget.
Live your life in a way that people don't go online and instinctively speculate the business decisions you chose that may have facilitated your murder.
There... now I'm your life coach!
There... now I'm your life coach!
December 6, 2024 at 7:56 PM
Live your life in a way that people don't go online and instinctively speculate the business decisions you chose that may have facilitated your murder.
There... now I'm your life coach!
There... now I'm your life coach!
Reposted by Dan Cabral
Every complaint about people abandoning Twitter is essentially “but my mom says you have to play with me!”
December 1, 2024 at 3:55 PM
Every complaint about people abandoning Twitter is essentially “but my mom says you have to play with me!”
Got the ol' quinquagenarian shish kebab today.
(Colonoscopy and Endoscopy, for those not in the know)
(Colonoscopy and Endoscopy, for those not in the know)
November 26, 2024 at 8:08 PM
Got the ol' quinquagenarian shish kebab today.
(Colonoscopy and Endoscopy, for those not in the know)
(Colonoscopy and Endoscopy, for those not in the know)
I'm already back to the anxious dread of waking up to Breaking News notifications that start with "Trump" and end with something really fucked up.
November 22, 2024 at 11:43 PM
I'm already back to the anxious dread of waking up to Breaking News notifications that start with "Trump" and end with something really fucked up.
People posting online about family and friends cutting them off for voting for Trump are inadvertently learning the definition of "Pyrrhic victory".
November 22, 2024 at 11:37 PM
People posting online about family and friends cutting them off for voting for Trump are inadvertently learning the definition of "Pyrrhic victory".