Oh yeah absolutely. I helped a friend with moving the other day and just shortly after I started carrying stuff down the stairs I broke out in sweat and my heart was racing. Once I was home I pretty much collapsed into bed and the next 2 days I was still KO with migraine, dizziness and fever.

I was bullied for being "Emo" when I dyed my hair black during middle school in 2011. Got even worse when I got my snakebites in 2012, lol.

In '12 I also dyed my front hair; which was white before, blue/purple/pink.

Nowadays sometimes get catcalled on the street, but it strangely amuses me so 🤷‍♀️

That's something I'll be working on I suppose.
Trying to achieve a middle-ground of being at peace with myself, while also not contorting to satisfy people who don't really care about me in the first place.

Masking will likely never go away, but that doesn't mean I can't gain more confidence.

7/7

So, listening to more of the music that I heard as a troubled teenager, has helped me not only be more honest with myself, but also causing me to be more honest outwardly.

Hypocrisy with ones own values is a virus and I am so tired of people telling me empty slogans.

6/7

I'm just at a point in life where I try to stop myself from not speaking my mind in situations of confrontation when I know that I am being treated unfairly.

I try to find a balance between doing what I think is right, coming from a place of kindness but also authenticity and honesty.

5/?

I have been on a journey of trying to make sense of what I felt during those times. Someone said once that if a song resonates with you, but you don't know why, it will eventually as time goes on become clear, or you will go down a path to where it will be so. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Maybe.

4/?

Looking back it is so funny how much the lyrics make sense now, even if back then my English wasn't quite as good as it is nowadays, so I often lacked the deeper understanding to make sense of those lyrics 100%

But yeah, a lot of them resonate with me now, and it is both odd and satisfying

3/?

Those 2010-2012 days of being a preteen to young teen who doesn't even know what's going on, but feels that there is something very wrong. The angst, the confusion, feeling deeply traumatized but having no other way of expressing it than music.

2/?

bitte mehr davon, redraws von den eigenen frühkindlichen kritzikratzis sind immer das beste

I think stuff like this would just look better as an actual tangible painting but also that's so much easier to mess up completely 😭