Thames Water came to assess mine: “can’t be done, there’s no external stopcock”. This was after looking for about 3 seconds. The attitude of the engineer was terrible: just trying it on to avoid work. Well, I found the external stopcock for him and now have a very cost effective meter!

You’d like to think the property could be seized.

Yes. 14 years of it.

Fine but anyone with the most basic consideration wouldn’t inflict their (usually terrible) taste in music on others who have no choice but to hear it, just because they don’t like headphones.