Cigarettes smell yummers

they say im racist but why the hell are my plantations so diverse?

In Somalia they have two political states
PRO PIRATE
ANTI PIRATE

Just got fired from USAID. I was working on putting Humpty Dumpty back together again. Now he will need putting back together again for eternity 🙏

I hate slow people just fucking get it done

Sitting in a car driven by a women ( I know ), she’s talking politics badly and is constantly wrong, how do I correct her without sounding rude

You know LA wouldn’t be burning down if the buildings were made of terrorist passports

What does a security guard for the zoo do because I'm pretty sure the animals don't need security

Karl Marx did not consider the testicle clamping crabs when he wrote the Communist Manifesto

I am on the Mount Rushmore of most attractive people in Scotland, infact I am the only face on it. People treck from thousands of miles away just to goon infront of it and pay it tribute. This is a widely known fact

Some context to my last post for non believers, my best mate, Rick Harrison, called his buddy, an expert on brains and smartness, who proclaimed I have the greatest, biggest and wettest brain he has ever examined which then led me to take the iq test

Some context to my last post:

I took an IQ test, and they told me that i scored perfectly, they said, "(real name), we've never seen someone do so greatly on this test". They even put me in a special facility to look after and nurture my very bigly genius brain

Big thanks to my school, they have given me a helmet to ensure that my brain doesnt get damaged because its so valuable

for the longest time, zimbabwe was ruled by a silverback gorilla, yet no one mentioned this as a great feat of equality?