This story was published jointly between The Washington Post and @militarydotcom.bsky.social.

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“People, in general, have problems in their personal lives,” one widow said. “But when you have the drill instructor job, it amplifies those problems because of how long you’re away from home, how tired you are.”

Some noted that the USMC lacks adequate services for those who are struggling, and tacitly condones a culture that stigmatizes those who seek it.

“We put a drastic expectation on them to act perfect,” one Marine said. "It causes this stress that trickles into their home life.”

The already high-stress DI role became even more intense after the 2016 death of Raheel Siddiqui, a Muslim recruit who suffered abuse at Parris Island. His case led to stricter oversight of the men and women who train new Marines.

The job’s unspoken expectations also can have a chilling effect on any impulse to seek care, they said, describing a prevailing reluctance to be away from work — for mental health reasons or even a family event — for fear of leaving teammates shorthanded.

One former drill instructor said the experience left him and his family shattered, adding, “I experienced a really, really dark side of myself.”

Another turned to alcohol to cope: “Let me just have a drink...so that I don’t overreact when I might talk to my children.”

A 2023 Marine IG investigation found a culture of "surviving" vs. "thriving," at Parris Island where DIs felt their welfare was a low priority. Many described "walking on eggshells," "on pins and needles," and being "afraid for their careers."

At least seven drill instructors died by suicide in the past five years. In 2023, three DI suicides occurred at Parris Island within less than three months.

Many describe routine 90-hour-plus workweeks, sleep deprivation and an always-on culture that frequently caused the job’s requisite intensity to seep into their personal lives, igniting disputes with loved ones. Others detailed bouts of depression or alcohol dependency.

An internal 2019 USMC study said 29 DIs died by suicide or contemplated it over a 10-year period, startlingly high compared with the occurrence of suicidal ideation among Marines who never held that job, it said. Addiction and divorce among drill instructors also were higher.

We conducted 30+ interviews with service members, their superiors and family members who have lost drill instructors to suicide, and reviewed countless documents related to the environments at the USMC's two recruit depots in Parris Island and San Diego.