I also don't need to talk to anyone's church or listen to their MLM pitch. I’m not coming from a place of ignorance, but one of contempt.

Not even if you paid me.

Lotta the "responsible" gun owners in these parts are shockingly cavalier about safely storing the damn things or having them around their kids. I see an asshole with a gun, I don’t trust them in the slightest to contain themselves.

He's not making food. Zero chance he can cook. If there's food at his table, someone else brought it.

There's no way I would take that on faith.

I used to ask my nephews that. "Who's gonna try and gun you down at your grandmother's? She lives a block away from the jail, and the only people here are invited."

How emotionally stunted must all these guys be to think, "wow, dude hangs out with exploited middle schoolers all day, he's really the guru of Successfully Navigating Adult Manhood"

Oh he's so fucking precious!!!

As always torn between, "That’s a lot for nail polish," and, "but shinyyyyy!"

Easter egg chic. Gotta love sparkly nails, I get sparkly topcoats off Holo Taco and they are splendid.

Remember when ye olde Facebook claimed that video got way more engagement and we should all do video? And then it turned out they were counting 3 seconds of watching a video as a "view." 3 seconds is also how long it takes for a video to autoplay and get turned off by an annoyed user.