Hey guys it's me Devan here remember how I said I bleed on myself to stay warm? Well turns out that's not a good idea when your neighbor has a vampire foreplay fetish and now I'm posting this on my porch after he attacked me... I should do this more often...

I never complain about being cold. Because blood is warm. I just bleed on myself... Yeah I recycle...

I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe. I'm safe.

Today a homeless guy tried to sell me drugs at the grocery store, I said no but he shoved the LSD down my throat by force and then ran away, all the People look naked now and I don't know how long this thing is gonna last.. I might shove a cucumber up his ass if he comes anywhere near me again...

I saw 3 kids on the way home beating up a black kid, I ran over and told them that couldn't beat him up just because he's black. They moved out of the way to reveal he's actually white, Just beaten very badly. I joined in after that. I like making friends...

These teenagers keep complaining about weight like morons... Why don't they do what I do and vomit it all up, Bag it and eat it again. That way i'm always the same weight. Stupid women...

Would you rather fight 50 Hitler shaped gorillas or 50 gorilla sized Hitlers?

My grandma called me today crying. She said she was so sorry for abusing me. I had to mute myself so she couldn't hear me laughing. She is such a funny woman.

I saw a cat today... I love fresh livestock.

I like touching my eyeball in it's socket. Squishy. Like a built in stress ball. Wet...

Kink shaming? No we shouldn't do that... we should shame those who glorify rape and sexual assault

Damn it. My fucking dicks too big and it got stuck on the tree. I keep trying to throw a ball at it to get it unstuck but no luck so far...

Every time I look at my dog. I'm always reminded of how they eat dogs in Korea. I love dogs... tender.