If I had just #left them to their own devices instead of wanting to help out of #blindlove, I might have reached this happiness so much sooner. But here I am, finally living the life I should, far from the banal chittering and the misplaced #impotentrage. I'm thankful, and inspired every day.

This is my second holiday with my partner, and my new world. The old world I'm leaving dead behind me, including who I was when I was around them. I don't want to bring her into my future either.
#toxicex #divorce #trauma #healing #abuse #gaslighting #pointlesscruelty #poison #transformation

The winds of my mind and my own hard childhood made me want to protect and nurture. I couldn't just walk away. #relationships are built on poorer things, for sure. But I don't believe they ever #loved me, for long. Not as I know it now. I'm #growing and #blossoming. Hopefully they are too.

Overall, I needed #help. I was only ever the one #working. I was the only one who could #budget no matter how i tried it explain it to them. I think they wanted to be taken care of, more than anything. Their hard childhood made the idea very appealing.

I tried to give them what I thought they wanted. I tried to #communicate effectively. I forgave their #cheating. The person I was is distasteful to me now, which adds to my #judgement of myself. I can see reasons they might make to #justify what I saw as #cruel and #manipulative.