Derek Heckman
@derekheckman.bsky.social
Fiction writer/schoolmarm. Shopping around a too-long novel about sad midwestern teens. (he/him)
Pinned
Pope should do a publishing summit next. Give some of these freaks a talking to
November 16, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Pope should do a publishing summit next. Give some of these freaks a talking to
Child: “Mr. Derek, my brother said sorry to me this morning, but he didn’t even do anything!”
Me, a recovering Catholic: “I do that sometimes”
Me, a recovering Catholic: “I do that sometimes”
November 13, 2025 at 5:47 PM
Child: “Mr. Derek, my brother said sorry to me this morning, but he didn’t even do anything!”
Me, a recovering Catholic: “I do that sometimes”
Me, a recovering Catholic: “I do that sometimes”
Friend just showed his girlfriend both Butch Cassidy AND The Verdict and I’m currently waiting to hear which Paul Newman she thought was hotter
November 13, 2025 at 12:58 PM
Friend just showed his girlfriend both Butch Cassidy AND The Verdict and I’m currently waiting to hear which Paul Newman she thought was hotter
I like when the cold makes my hands all chapped and I can pretend that I’ve worked a day in my life
November 12, 2025 at 12:57 PM
I like when the cold makes my hands all chapped and I can pretend that I’ve worked a day in my life
My wife bought this because she says it looks like me
November 11, 2025 at 10:56 PM
My wife bought this because she says it looks like me
Parent-teacher conferences go against everything Goodfellas raised me to believe about the importance of not ratting on your friends
November 10, 2025 at 9:41 PM
Parent-teacher conferences go against everything Goodfellas raised me to believe about the importance of not ratting on your friends
Fuck me up, king
November 7, 2025 at 11:58 AM
Fuck me up, king
Just sighed so big a piece food that was stuck in my teeth dislodged and flew out of my mouth
November 7, 2025 at 12:20 AM
Just sighed so big a piece food that was stuck in my teeth dislodged and flew out of my mouth
Reposted by Derek Heckman
If you’re in the market for a horror movie essay today, then give yourself a TREAT and read this one I wrote about Weapons! Or just play a TRICK and tell me you read it anyway!
I wrote about Weapons and all the stuff it brought up for me about active shooter trainings. Link, as they say, below 👇
October 31, 2025 at 4:22 PM
If you’re in the market for a horror movie essay today, then give yourself a TREAT and read this one I wrote about Weapons! Or just play a TRICK and tell me you read it anyway!
Reposted by Derek Heckman
Excellent essay about the movie Weapons (spoilers of course)
October 31, 2025 at 4:59 PM
Excellent essay about the movie Weapons (spoilers of course)
If you’re in the market for a horror movie essay today, then give yourself a TREAT and read this one I wrote about Weapons! Or just play a TRICK and tell me you read it anyway!
I wrote about Weapons and all the stuff it brought up for me about active shooter trainings. Link, as they say, below 👇
October 31, 2025 at 4:22 PM
If you’re in the market for a horror movie essay today, then give yourself a TREAT and read this one I wrote about Weapons! Or just play a TRICK and tell me you read it anyway!
Today I mentioned that my parents live in Illinois and one of my kids said “Mr. Derek, you’re really brave to come to school all by yourself”
October 30, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Today I mentioned that my parents live in Illinois and one of my kids said “Mr. Derek, you’re really brave to come to school all by yourself”
Said it before but a great part of working with kids is how sensitive they are to even the smallest of injuries. I come in with a nick from shaving sometimes and they are all so concerned about me
October 30, 2025 at 3:30 PM
Said it before but a great part of working with kids is how sensitive they are to even the smallest of injuries. I come in with a nick from shaving sometimes and they are all so concerned about me
Bumpin that
I wrote about Weapons and all the stuff it brought up for me about active shooter trainings. Link, as they say, below 👇
October 29, 2025 at 8:37 PM
Bumpin that
I wrote about Weapons and all the stuff it brought up for me about active shooter trainings. Link, as they say, below 👇
October 29, 2025 at 3:26 PM
I wrote about Weapons and all the stuff it brought up for me about active shooter trainings. Link, as they say, below 👇
Me, misunderstanding “gooner” as “a fan of Jennifer Egan’s 2010 collection of linked short stories ‘A Visit from the Goon Squad’”: “I don’t know. I’ve always liked the PowerPoint presentation one”
October 23, 2025 at 3:16 PM
Me, misunderstanding “gooner” as “a fan of Jennifer Egan’s 2010 collection of linked short stories ‘A Visit from the Goon Squad’”: “I don’t know. I’ve always liked the PowerPoint presentation one”
Do not, my friends, become addicted to sleeping through the night
October 23, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Do not, my friends, become addicted to sleeping through the night
Really great children’s book I just came across. Could not recommend it enough
October 22, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Really great children’s book I just came across. Could not recommend it enough
The Whale truly a make-up Oscar in more ways than one
October 19, 2025 at 11:43 PM
The Whale truly a make-up Oscar in more ways than one
Any teachers out there looking to talk about Jane Goodall, this is my preferred text
October 2, 2025 at 10:26 PM
Any teachers out there looking to talk about Jane Goodall, this is my preferred text
Reaching the point in the book I’m reading where things haven’t really come together, nothing’s really happened, and there’s less of the book unread than I’ve read already—the “uh-oh point” as we all call it
September 30, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Reaching the point in the book I’m reading where things haven’t really come together, nothing’s really happened, and there’s less of the book unread than I’ve read already—the “uh-oh point” as we all call it
Got this email and thought I was being put on blast for a second
September 30, 2025 at 9:07 PM
Got this email and thought I was being put on blast for a second
When I was like eleven I did a psych study where a grad student asked me child development questions and going in I was like “oh what if they find out I’m a genius” and then during it I mixed up right and left
September 29, 2025 at 8:04 PM
When I was like eleven I did a psych study where a grad student asked me child development questions and going in I was like “oh what if they find out I’m a genius” and then during it I mixed up right and left
“We must be on our phones less!” Frog said, scrolling on his phone
September 29, 2025 at 3:33 PM
“We must be on our phones less!” Frog said, scrolling on his phone