also they call me by my first name which is a little disorientating sometimes but most people who aren't my friends or family irl call me by my first name but I wish they'd call me ian (I could totally tell them to but I'm shy)

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touch and love of another person and it drives my jealousy issues insane how I envy others who get to have sex or be intimate with people they love and I'll forever be a pathetic loser who will never experience anything like that.

been jacking off a lot lately and i realize it's a bad coping mechanism of mine. whenever I feel lonely and bad I use it as a way to distract myself for a while and feel good and loved but then it just reminds me how unwanted I actually am and how pathetic I am that I will never experience the

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