thank you for talking with me, you helped keep me from spiraling

I hate time

it always moves faster than I need and slower than I would like

things always happen out of order, too

and honestly this goes for a lot of people in my life

such as my parents

I don't think I'm getting any better at this

I understood grief when I lost my sister

but this is different, because I can still talk to her

so there's still that small part of me hoping I can still fix it, keeping the wound open

I'm not sure that giving up on her completely is something I can do

she did warn me though

she warned me about everything, in excruciating detail

everything she would do, everything I would do, and others

to the point where I don't think there's a natural explanation

but I tried to fight fate anyway

because I'm just too goddamn stubborn

there's a thousand different things that I could say and none of them will change anything

I've been saying this

baby

I liked it

not the kind of music I usually listen to, but it's good

very sad, in a calming way

like the acceptance stage of grief

I will try to use this loss as an excuse for a shopping trip, because I need a skirt to go with my blazer

I really liked that skirt too 😔