@delfishie.bsky.social
Just found out an old professor I liked has passed away. I hate death. I hate the finality. She was a good woman, retired, and I'm sorry to learn that she's no longer on this Earth. It's so easy to become depressed. This world is set up to cause depression. Sadness is rationality. I miss you Barb
January 7, 2026 at 9:35 AM
Just found out an old professor I liked has passed away. I hate death. I hate the finality. She was a good woman, retired, and I'm sorry to learn that she's no longer on this Earth. It's so easy to become depressed. This world is set up to cause depression. Sadness is rationality. I miss you Barb
I'm so sad. It's Christmas and one person I love has severe dementia, another has given up treatment for her cancer, and it seems like the entire world is indifferent. I can't seem to get out from this depression. The problem with having so many people you love is that they get sick and they die.
December 25, 2025 at 10:42 AM
I'm so sad. It's Christmas and one person I love has severe dementia, another has given up treatment for her cancer, and it seems like the entire world is indifferent. I can't seem to get out from this depression. The problem with having so many people you love is that they get sick and they die.
I called Mom today. The staff at the memory care facility handed her the phone and she immediately burst into tears. Just at the sound of my voice, she cried. Dementia is so awful because Mom doesn't understand why I can't take care of her anymore. A lot of dark thoughts right now.
December 14, 2025 at 8:51 AM
I called Mom today. The staff at the memory care facility handed her the phone and she immediately burst into tears. Just at the sound of my voice, she cried. Dementia is so awful because Mom doesn't understand why I can't take care of her anymore. A lot of dark thoughts right now.
When will the pain end? I wish I knew when grief would stop. I miss my dad. I miss my mom, especially who she used to be before this disease. I decided to get an account on here because I wanted a short journal to help me through this. But I don't know if it's helping.
November 4, 2025 at 10:31 AM
When will the pain end? I wish I knew when grief would stop. I miss my dad. I miss my mom, especially who she used to be before this disease. I decided to get an account on here because I wanted a short journal to help me through this. But I don't know if it's helping.
When you say the phrase "I feel sad," the word "feel" can perform a double designation. You can feel as in experience the emotion of sadness, but you can also feel, physically, the bodily harm that prolonged grief can exact.
November 4, 2025 at 7:49 AM
When you say the phrase "I feel sad," the word "feel" can perform a double designation. You can feel as in experience the emotion of sadness, but you can also feel, physically, the bodily harm that prolonged grief can exact.
I really long to belong to something. Not like a church group or anything, but a group of people who accept me as I am. Right now I don't have this, but I think it's what I really, really want.
November 1, 2025 at 6:43 PM
I really long to belong to something. Not like a church group or anything, but a group of people who accept me as I am. Right now I don't have this, but I think it's what I really, really want.
Sometimes going numb is the best way to protect yourself from the pain
October 25, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Sometimes going numb is the best way to protect yourself from the pain
Today is the day when I just want to cry. Ever have a day like that? The sadness just won't go away.
October 22, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Today is the day when I just want to cry. Ever have a day like that? The sadness just won't go away.
I miss my mom so much. She's getting specialized care now, but that doesn't mean that I miss her any less. I really hope she grows to like the new place. It's strange how my heart hurts now in a brand new way, compared to the old hurt of dealing with dementia. #differenttypesofpain
October 14, 2025 at 4:37 AM
I miss my mom so much. She's getting specialized care now, but that doesn't mean that I miss her any less. I really hope she grows to like the new place. It's strange how my heart hurts now in a brand new way, compared to the old hurt of dealing with dementia. #differenttypesofpain
Here is hoping for a peaceful year, despite the way we've started.
September 18, 2025 at 6:33 AM
Here is hoping for a peaceful year, despite the way we've started.
It's strange how quiet resentments can build up.
August 25, 2025 at 10:54 PM
It's strange how quiet resentments can build up.
One of the things people don't tell you about dementia is how sometimes they can get drastically worse in the space of a single week. There needs to be a cure. No one should ever have to go through this.
August 13, 2025 at 8:11 PM
One of the things people don't tell you about dementia is how sometimes they can get drastically worse in the space of a single week. There needs to be a cure. No one should ever have to go through this.
Somewhere beneath my anger and frustration and futile bitterness is a person who has Grace and kindness. I have no idea how to let that person out. Every single day it just gets worse. #caretaking #dementia #burnout
July 27, 2025 at 6:50 AM
Somewhere beneath my anger and frustration and futile bitterness is a person who has Grace and kindness. I have no idea how to let that person out. Every single day it just gets worse. #caretaking #dementia #burnout
I am so very unhappy. Mom is getting worse. The arguments at night have no real solution, no real strategy. I've tried every variation of persuasion to get her to sleep in her bed, but Mom insists that she doesn't want to sleep in her room. I am never alone. #dementia #caregiver #hopeless
July 21, 2025 at 5:32 AM
I am so very unhappy. Mom is getting worse. The arguments at night have no real solution, no real strategy. I've tried every variation of persuasion to get her to sleep in her bed, but Mom insists that she doesn't want to sleep in her room. I am never alone. #dementia #caregiver #hopeless
So the solution to getting someone with dementia to go to bed without a soul destroying argument is to simply stay up with them until they get sleepy. Tonight it was till 1:15 a.m. watching the History channel.
July 6, 2025 at 5:48 AM
So the solution to getting someone with dementia to go to bed without a soul destroying argument is to simply stay up with them until they get sleepy. Tonight it was till 1:15 a.m. watching the History channel.
Just had lunch with my mom. Every day is a miracle because death can happen at any time. Some days, it's almost too much to get out of bed.
July 2, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Just had lunch with my mom. Every day is a miracle because death can happen at any time. Some days, it's almost too much to get out of bed.
I'm so grateful for the time I am spending with her while I still can.
July 1, 2025 at 5:06 PM
I'm so grateful for the time I am spending with her while I still can.
It's 2 a.m. and I just want to be alone.
...Not in a "woe is me" way, though. In a "solitude recharges my batteries" kinda way.
...Not in a "woe is me" way, though. In a "solitude recharges my batteries" kinda way.
June 14, 2025 at 6:06 AM
It's 2 a.m. and I just want to be alone.
...Not in a "woe is me" way, though. In a "solitude recharges my batteries" kinda way.
...Not in a "woe is me" way, though. In a "solitude recharges my batteries" kinda way.
"Elvis had a drinking problem.
Judy could drink Elvis under the table.
Elvis gained more weight.
Judy lost more weight.
Elvis was addicted to painkillers.
No pill could stop Judy's pain!"
- Bob Smith
Judy could drink Elvis under the table.
Elvis gained more weight.
Judy lost more weight.
Elvis was addicted to painkillers.
No pill could stop Judy's pain!"
- Bob Smith
January 17, 2025 at 11:14 PM
"Elvis had a drinking problem.
Judy could drink Elvis under the table.
Elvis gained more weight.
Judy lost more weight.
Elvis was addicted to painkillers.
No pill could stop Judy's pain!"
- Bob Smith
Judy could drink Elvis under the table.
Elvis gained more weight.
Judy lost more weight.
Elvis was addicted to painkillers.
No pill could stop Judy's pain!"
- Bob Smith
I'm trying this non-twitter site for the first time. Here's hoping for fewer Nazis! Hello, fellow humans!
January 8, 2025 at 2:54 AM
I'm trying this non-twitter site for the first time. Here's hoping for fewer Nazis! Hello, fellow humans!