definitelynotelon.bsky.social
@definitelynotelon.bsky.social
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Yo Trump is gonna make JD eat a copy of Hillbilly Elegy outside the Spencer's gifts in Richmond Mall. Come thru.
I didn't want anyone to know that Vivek beat me in a game of hungry hungry hippos at one of those meetings.
January 22, 2025 at 6:46 PM
The DOGE departmental beatings will continue until morale is improved.
January 7, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Trump also won't let me give my food scraps to JD under the table anymore.
December 23, 2024 at 9:42 PM
Currently playing "Hooked on Phonics" with Trump. He's not doing great but the effort is there.
December 23, 2024 at 9:41 PM
JD Vance keeps banging on the glass from the garden asking if he can come inside yet and Trump just keeps turning up Shrek 2 even louder.
December 16, 2024 at 4:18 AM
RFK Jr. followed me into the Whitehouse public bathroom. He keeps yanking on my door asking "Can I play Angry Birds on your phone?"
December 9, 2024 at 7:04 PM
Update: Barnes and Noble didn't have a copy so he's having him choke down a kindle instead.
Yo Trump is gonna make JD eat a copy of Hillbilly Elegy outside the Spencer's gifts in Richmond Mall. Come thru.
December 8, 2024 at 10:17 PM
Reposted
Yo Trump is gonna make JD eat a copy of Hillbilly Elegy outside the Spencer's gifts in Richmond Mall. Come thru.
December 8, 2024 at 9:27 PM
Yo Trump is gonna make JD eat a copy of Hillbilly Elegy outside the Spencer's gifts in Richmond Mall. Come thru.
December 8, 2024 at 9:27 PM
Anyone in the government caught peeing sitting down when I KNOW you're not taking a number 2 will be subject to small talk with JD Vance.
December 8, 2024 at 9:13 PM
Trump always weeps at the end of Ratatouille
November 23, 2024 at 9:08 PM
In my first act as efficiency director I demand that someone give me their Disney+ credentials so I don't have to type with this goddamn remote
November 22, 2024 at 12:20 AM
My neuralink is flooding me with Hims ads
November 22, 2024 at 12:09 AM
Vivek keeps trying to hold my hand during The Brave Little Toaster.
November 22, 2024 at 12:03 AM
RFK Jr is the methhead uncle I never had. When I asked him about his health policies he proceeded to angrily eat one entire tube of Crest toothpaste.
November 21, 2024 at 11:58 PM
Telling the military to hook up the war drones to my Wii remote.
November 21, 2024 at 11:56 PM
We've done it. The new Tesla upgrades will look away while you're jorking it without being asked. Thank you to everyone who completed our survey.
November 21, 2024 at 11:50 PM
RFK Jr eats crayons
November 21, 2024 at 11:26 PM
New Invention: Robot that runs on meat
November 18, 2024 at 10:15 PM
Seriously guys come back
November 16, 2024 at 4:06 AM
Trump says I can get a lil bit of his dictatorship as a treat
November 15, 2024 at 9:33 PM
New Tesla Feature: All new models will be built with AI that makes them horny
November 15, 2024 at 4:44 PM
I'm putting ads in your neuralink feed and there is nothing you can do to stop me.
November 14, 2024 at 8:45 PM
Why do people say I'm unrelatable. I am just like all of you. Everyday I unhinge my jaw and swallow one entire pangolin.
November 14, 2024 at 4:34 PM
Trump is gonna bring back old fashioned goulash
November 14, 2024 at 4:29 PM