I should clarify that this only works if both parties have moved on. Otherwise it is profoundly stupid.

There is a certain terror in being fully known. So much so that we willfully compartmentalize ourselves.

Do I even know who I am? How could I, given that I am never fully present.

Meaning that continuing this would be a waste of time.

There are other causes for concern that just…make me sad.

Like how I can’t sing or be too excitable about that which brings me joy because I am too loud. Forget about talking about Christianity or theology. Those are off-limits too.

That’s my running theory. If she sniffs me out before my last day of work, I hope I remember to ask her.

I plead “Guilty” to this charge 😭

The kicker for me is that the signs she is referring to read “Tobacco Free Campus.” They do not say “No Smoking.”

But anyways. I wonder how often she harasses the international students who chain smoke, or if she saves her ire for me because I am white like her.

Girl this same lady started to harass me again the other day, being all “M’mam, you can’t smoke on campus” and “M’mam, read the signs.” I cut her off with a “You’re not doing this today,” and walked down some outdoor stairs so she couldn’t follow me (she walks with a cane).

Oh, a 1,000%! That’s a good perspective to be mindful of.