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I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

I got a picture you'll love.
Was used as a book cover for www.goodreads.com/book/show/17...

Sadly, I never read the book, but I could never forget the cover.

A wizard in brown robes, sword on his belt, beer in one hand, staff in another, in someone's modern kitchen.

September 22, 2025 at 12:01 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

What asshole added that fucking U? It isn't even pronounced! It isn't GEW-arantee. It's GARANTEE.

September 16, 2025 at 11:38 PM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Whole way down to the bottom and searching around the bottom I got all of 58 Iron.

I got 380 copper. Not sure what to do with that.

September 9, 2025 at 5:59 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

I might be playing Minecraft wrong. I keep setting up safety rails.

September 9, 2025 at 5:46 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

My Minecraft house is super cute. But I need to finish the roof.

A house built in minecraft, it's very boxy but has lots of fireflies drifting about it.

September 6, 2025 at 11:20 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Yes I put pan fried corn in my polenta. I like corn so I put corn in my corn.

September 6, 2025 at 5:15 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Because I never chase trends, I'm only now playing Minecraft in the year of our lord 2025.

My boat is popular.

A Minecraft turtle sitting in a Minecraft boat on the water. What's he doing in there? Get out of my boat!

A zombie of some kind in Minecraft is sitting in a Minecraft boat. Get out of there! It's not yours!

September 6, 2025 at 1:52 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

It would give the world more chances for signs like this.

A white sign displaying red text saying: 'Strawbebbies for sale' with a black arrow at the bottom and a strawberry with leaves painted above it.

August 11, 2025 at 12:44 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

See I grew up with jackrabbits which look like nightmare hellbeasts.

Rabbits are so cute and fae compared to them.

A jackrabbit, which is a hare that resembles a rabbit but by way of Cronenberg. It's ears are too long, it's legs are too long, it's face is too long and it has eyes that have SEEN THINGS. Looks willing to fight God.

August 9, 2025 at 7:23 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Just saw this exchange on tumblr and wanted to share it.

First Post: Protestants: God is not an absent father! Talk to god like friend! God is always with you! Bring your problems to god, no matter how small! It's not at all weird to call god "Daddy!"

Catholics: God is far too important to give a fuck about your lost keys, or your algebra eamn. Please address your petty concerns to one of god's ten thousand holy secretaries. If it's really important, consider asking his mom.

Second Post: Catholics can't get in touch with god because he's always on the phone with a protestant.

May 25, 2025 at 10:20 PM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Bring back Dude Battles.

A very fancy Dude with a top hat, an extremely oversized coat, leggings, and shiny shoes with a cane. Can't forget the fabulous mustache.

May 11, 2025 at 2:35 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

2011. That was the crossover point. 2011.

May 9, 2025 at 12:07 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

I made a real cheesecake for the first time. It isn't THAT yellow the lights in my house are just warm hues. It didn't crack! But I did brown the top too much. But hey, first go around looks nice!

April 3, 2025 at 8:37 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Tenchi Muyo! EXISTS and has a cabbit. You can just use a picture of Ryo-Ohki! She's so much cuter!

March 25, 2025 at 11:41 PM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Stole this from twitter can't find the original creator, as I'm pretty sure this has been recycled at least a dozen times.

The left says: My brain -smooth -no weinkls -cute -can't think = no sad
the right says Yuor brain -bumpy weird -gross wrinkles -ugly!!! -thinks!=sad

March 25, 2025 at 11:23 PM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Shiro and Kai wanted to be in the box at the same time. This is a game of chicken to see who gives up and leaves first. Kai won.

A fluffy black cat, and a fluffy white cat snuggled together in a box that barely fits the both of them.

March 23, 2025 at 6:44 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Sharing my favorite tumblr post.

The top part of the image says: the fucking frog that looks like this and shows a wide long line with two tiny dots above it. The bottom part of the image says 'Oh fuck it's him' and shows a very flat frog who looks like a very flag frog with a wide long mouth that resembles the long like with two dots for eyes above it. .____.

March 19, 2025 at 11:49 PM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Another house has the least functional kitchen I've ever seen.

I bake. A lot. Thinking of even starting a little home-baking gig. Not only is there not enough storage for my cooking tools, there is no pantry. That poor freezer is going to be taxed to hell every time the oven is turned on.

A kitchen that has the stove nestled between the sink and the fridge: AKA the worst spot to put a stove. There is also barely any cabinet space and no pantry.

March 17, 2025 at 6:39 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

March 8, 2025 at 10:59 PM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

The banana bread!

March 8, 2025 at 10:59 PM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

Didn't have this on my bingo.

Richard Spencer tweeted: The second Trump administration is becoming a series of catastrophes. Winning over the online Right is not winning. There are real consequences to alienating Europe, aligning with Russia and Israel as they destroy Ukraine and Gaza, and being generally perceived as sadistic and chaotic. It's the end of the "American Century" (1944-2024). I never thought I would see it happen this quickly, or be cheered on by the so-called "Right."

Heartbreaking: The Worst Person You Know Just Made A Great Point.

March 1, 2025 at 11:50 PM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

So much of the American press is just... terrible. This is the byline for an article, she didn't leave. She was FIRED. This is legitimately a terrible fucking job. Whoever wrote this lede needs to get flogged.

A screen grab of a news article title that reads: Why did Joy Reid leave her MSNBC show? What is replacing 'The ReidOut'? What to know

February 26, 2025 at 12:05 AM

I speak to the dead.

@deathspeaker.bsky.social

The Wheelers from Return to Oz remain the scariest thing EVER put to film. To be fair the official art is slightly scarier than the movie version and I would absolutely respond with 'Kill it with fire!' Though in-universe they're supposed to friendly???