All in all, I think I'm doing well.

At least I haven't started talking to the garbage disposal. That guy's an asshole.

When a bird scolded me for not filling the feeder (my sister took the bag of bird seed OKAY?) I told it "I know you're a scarlet tanager, but frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

When I used the unfortunate carrots as mulch around the strawberries, I whispered "soylent green is carrots."

I chanted "the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few" while thinning carrots.

Or maybe we should just give the entire pot to Salvation Army