This thought has been living in my head rent free, so I grabbed myself a nice bag for Christmas, and I am very much enjoying the energy.

All of Dad's adult, productive work stuff, but he makes space for your big baby diapers so he can keep you stuck in permanent toddlerhood where you belong.

Stole from elsewhere

☎️ so THEN she told me to move my car and-
….Hold on Margret my wife is fucking with the curtains again…

I THOUGHT TOLD YOU BEDTIME TWO HOURS AGO.
Why are you naked???
Yes I see him…
Absolutely not…
Because you have work tomorrow.
Okay, yep, Say goodnight to Mr raccoon

Being given a plastic fork and knife that are very ineffective at cutting your food. Justifying mommy's need to feed you herself.

"Aw sweety, having trouble? Don't worry, mommy can help"

She uses a real knife and fork to cut your food and slowly feed it to you, intentionally missing at times.

yall know these doorknob covers? make sure to put them on the bathroom door, and mitten your little ones! watch them bat at it before they fill their pampers! put one on the inside of their nursery! or on the front door so they can never escape!

Mommy made me sit in her arms and drink from a baby bottle in front of the guests.. 😖👉👈

☀️ Talk to me like I'm 3 yrs old!

Talk to me like I don't understand words longer than 3 syllables!

Tell me I'm "silly for trying to think so big"

I wanna feel small and not need to have any answers!
I don't wanna read the room!
I don't wanna try and puzzle together hidden context!

Teasing teasing~

I've been more in the mommy mood lately 💗💗

I was craving the daycare experience again, so Daddy made us a daily daycare schedule 😵‍💫

I drew the little caterpillar :3

It's printed and put on my bedroom door where we can always see it