Did you dream there
where you fell

Did you feel the warmth
of love or Hell

Both will burn us
through and through

Do you wait for us
While we burn for you

from eternal grief
I find no relief
Medication prescribed
may ease it
Illicit drugs as a means of escape have killed me before I could seize it
Sex overshadowed
Can't drink it away
It stays up all night
and steals the whole day

I show God my wound
ask him to seal it

I think he wants me to feel it

I long to rest my eyes
yet long I wrest to lie

Arrested sigh

In duress, I vie

to divest, in retreat
Revell in my defeat

For no salvation
could I entreat

Come to know the Holy Fist
of God, the first pugilist
Violence dictated
from Lord above
Catastrophe
from god of love
Church takes your offering
and offers salvation
Rapist priests bring
assured damnation
Seek exemption through
ritual blessings at birth
All tortures of Hell
found right here on earth

I wear this abysmal quilt
sewn with threads made of guilt

A patchwork of despairing regret

Soaking up tears
keeps it heavy and wet

Its weight on me grows
without respite

Laying over each day
engulfing the light

It stales the air
and muffles all sound

Steadily pushing me
down underground

Live wire body
Electric bones want to escape their meat prison dampening chamber

Soul pilot ejection engaged
Sole experience
Injected age
Germ of life
Entropic inheritance

Delirium and dissociation
Yawning into the hazy aftermath of fire fueled escape
Burning and fading
Memories like embers
Heavy in the air
Drift by in slow motion
like hours bearing the weight of nostalgia

Two nights have passed... as another slowly creeps, already I am defeated by the mere thought of facing it. Two nights and seven days, estimated by feel. The minutes like hours, pass through me. Each one carrying away its own weight in fortitude and resolve... til weary sanity break way for madness

Of all the four seasons
I prefer autumn
Unless we're talking Vivaldi
Then it's summer
I've never been to the hotels
The band's good, I guess
If that's what you listen to

~a haiku

Raindrops falling on my head

My thoughts become overwhelmed with woeful dread

Feeling sure
we're all soon surely dead

Or something like that... I can't remember how the song goes

Faultless father of the fallen
Favoring feeble fearful flotsom
Frequently faulting frail, faithful
Forlorn followers face finality
Fealties fail from fasted faiths

Frowning from far forgotten fetal frustrations
Feeling feral fervor fiercely
Frightful features fully form
Foreboding and fiendish

Steeped in tar
Rat remnants rot
Drear art of nature wrought

Our mere existence
Assured death sentence
Afterlife but a thought

Our purpose is sought
Through mental assault
What else could we do?
For this... is our fault

We hide and seek
the chance to speak
to God to ask the question

We are an idea
You are a dream
I am imagined
This is a test