Not only that but if I do interact with others about the topic I have really bad restraints and would end up causing trouble by some stupid things I could say, I wish I knew how to distract myself from the urges and had more therapy on my sexual trauma.

Persistent as it is I do feel at times where it doesn’t ruin my life and I don’t have to take time to deal with it. It feels nice being productive but sometimes I have to stay in bed until I’m drained of everything to be able to focus on things of importance.

Another thing is how my space just wasn’t respected, being groped and being sexualized kinda ruined me. I think I’m doin better now with therapy but these sick thoughts are always in the back of my head.