David Varney
@davidvarney.bsky.social
A native Mainer in Cali. Husband. Father. Veteran. Baseball Lover. Red Sox fan.
"I don't have to take this abuse from you! I got hundreds dying to abuse me!"
"I don't have to take this abuse from you! I got hundreds dying to abuse me!"
We need something to pick up the Jake Paul slack now.
December 21, 2025 at 1:59 AM
We need something to pick up the Jake Paul slack now.
Surrounded by sycophants. Bolstered by a checked out legislative branch, a stacked judiciary at the highest level, a military illegally wielding deadly force almost daily and a the highest rated news network running cover through years of scandal.
Yet still paranoid.
Yet still paranoid.
a close up of a man 's face with the word fascinating written below him
ALT: a close up of a man 's face with the word fascinating written below him
media.tenor.com
December 18, 2025 at 3:58 AM
Surrounded by sycophants. Bolstered by a checked out legislative branch, a stacked judiciary at the highest level, a military illegally wielding deadly force almost daily and a the highest rated news network running cover through years of scandal.
Yet still paranoid.
Yet still paranoid.
Hitting up him for dough was a perfectly acceptable last straw.
December 13, 2025 at 7:27 PM
Hitting up him for dough was a perfectly acceptable last straw.
I would say "we have ways of making you talk", but that doesn't really seem like the issue.
December 10, 2025 at 8:44 PM
I would say "we have ways of making you talk", but that doesn't really seem like the issue.
What we're actually thinking, but still get the vibe...
a group of people standing on top of a building next to a giant marshmallow man
ALT: a group of people standing on top of a building next to a giant marshmallow man
media.tenor.com
December 9, 2025 at 11:30 PM
What we're actually thinking, but still get the vibe...
They treated many victims from Simon Phoenix's terrorist attacks.
December 7, 2025 at 1:53 AM
They treated many victims from Simon Phoenix's terrorist attacks.
Working 3rd shift I generally miss out on these things in the moment. That being said, unless Frank Drebin shows up to beat up everyone in the room, it’s just another disgrace to throw on the pile.
December 3, 2025 at 4:36 AM
Working 3rd shift I generally miss out on these things in the moment. That being said, unless Frank Drebin shows up to beat up everyone in the room, it’s just another disgrace to throw on the pile.
(Clears throat, from the back row….)
ASSHOLE!
ASSHOLE!
Brad Bradford GIF
ALT: Brad Bradford GIF
media.tenor.com
November 23, 2025 at 4:20 PM
(Clears throat, from the back row….)
ASSHOLE!
ASSHOLE!
This going in reverse. Everybody skipped to the "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" part first.
November 22, 2025 at 3:16 AM
This going in reverse. Everybody skipped to the "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!" part first.
All that and a legendary lost track.
November 21, 2025 at 5:32 PM
All that and a legendary lost track.
There are so many other things he could've asked the Wizard for.🤨
November 17, 2025 at 12:01 AM
There are so many other things he could've asked the Wizard for.🤨
Are you sure you want to hibernate through this?
November 13, 2025 at 3:25 AM
Are you sure you want to hibernate through this?
I'd laugh if I didn't know who Marvin represents here.
November 12, 2025 at 8:56 PM
I'd laugh if I didn't know who Marvin represents here.
Because Creep is just too easy.
November 7, 2025 at 12:33 AM
Because Creep is just too easy.
"The Statue in the harbor should've warned you."
a man and a woman are walking in a park with trees in the background .
ALT: a man and a woman are walking in a park with trees in the background .
media.tenor.com
November 6, 2025 at 4:38 AM
"The Statue in the harbor should've warned you."
I get more of a Hanover Fiste vibe...
a cartoon drawing of a building with the words expeditious retreat written above it
ALT: a cartoon drawing of a building with the words expeditious retreat written above it
media.tenor.com
November 5, 2025 at 9:53 PM
I get more of a Hanover Fiste vibe...
I mean, he's been trying.
November 5, 2025 at 7:38 PM
I mean, he's been trying.
Also considered: Dune - Bride of Harrkonen
November 5, 2025 at 2:04 AM
Also considered: Dune - Bride of Harrkonen
I remember all the jokes after his heart surgery. C'mon people, of course he had one.
But it's pretty obvious his body rejected it.
But it's pretty obvious his body rejected it.
November 5, 2025 at 12:24 AM
I remember all the jokes after his heart surgery. C'mon people, of course he had one.
But it's pretty obvious his body rejected it.
But it's pretty obvious his body rejected it.
Affluenca First Response Treatment Protocol.
November 4, 2025 at 12:54 AM
Affluenca First Response Treatment Protocol.
Making A-rod's pregame prediction look good is irritating.
November 2, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Making A-rod's pregame prediction look good is irritating.
As a native who was raised around mill towns, this hits way too hard.
November 2, 2025 at 12:24 AM
As a native who was raised around mill towns, this hits way too hard.